Archive | 11:42 PM

Day 221: how to turn an ugly duckling into a swan, from the inside out

9 Aug

Last night we dropped into The Lemonheads concert at Nectars.  Now, this is a place where I can watch a concert; small venue, laid back crowd, and an air of total island casual-ness.  (We nonchalantly shook hands with lead singer Evan Dando as he walked by the bar before his performance.)

The last time I remember anything close to this was the first time I saw an unknown group called The Dave Matthews Band in a tiny Rhode Island concert hall.  I was in college and my friends convinced me to go see this unheard-of-band.  (I ended up in the sound booth with my friend who knew the band’s sound crew and watched half the show with headphones on my ears).  A few weeks later, the first DMB music video broke on MTV.  That was the last of my small venue music scene songs.

Until last night.
In the middle of the tiny concert venue, we stood right in front of the stage, swaying to the music, with a totally chill crowd void of pushing and screaming.  Which is perfect for me — a.k.a. — She Who Goes Batty When Beer Is Spilled On Her Clothes.

As we danced and sang to the music, I looked over and saw a young woman in a beautiful brown and turquoise sundress.  As I marveled at her darling dress I heard my friend Myndee Larsen’s pledge run through my head:  “complement strangers whenever you have something good to say.”

So I tapped the young woman on the shoulder and said, “I love your dress!”

She beamed back a happy “thank you” and then announced that she bought it at a garage sale.  She then pointed to a woman in a floor length kelly green ball gown. I had just seen The Girl In The Green Dress in her floor length splendor, helping the band set up.   The Sun Dress girl nodded and said, “It’s from the girl in the green dress, I bought it at her garage sale.”

I smiled on the outside but on the inside a little jealous voiced screamed:
I WANT TO GO SHOPPING, EVEN IF IT IS A GARAGE SALE!

I’m happy to report that the moment passed.
The concert ended.  I slept on it.  No shopping has occurred.

Then this afternoon I met up with the amazing Margot Datz for tea.  She is one artist extraordinaire and the author of A Survival Guide for Landlocked Mermaids (among other amazing talents).  I haven’t seen her since last summer so we had much to catch up on, including her upcoming workshop at Kripalu:  Refreshing The Mermaid Within.

I shared my journey so far with The Promise 365 and walked Margot through every last detail of not shopping, focusing on my head, heart, body and soul, giving up my dependence on sugary desserts and of course, the Colorado Cleanse (including the castor oil — ugh).

Right before I left Margot’s house she embraced me with a hug of love, looked me straight in the eyes and announced, “Jamie, you have great character.  You are walking the walk.”

Then, she said it. “You, my dear, are a swan.”
And, in that moment, my heart did a swan dive.

The ugly duckling little girl inside me, a head taller than everyone else with with coke bottle glasses and stringy hair jumped for joy.

Margot just called me a swan.
And, it had nothing to do with the outside.
This was all Inside Stuff.

Margot could have complemented me on my clothes, or my hair, or my shoes, or my bag, or my … what have you.  But, she chose to look straight into my soul and lift me even higher, to Swan Level.

Thank you Margot.
You may teach landlocked mermaids how to swim, but today you gave this bird flight.

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