Today continues the weekly series, F*ing Fridays, which will coincidentally occur on Friday. I mentioned some of my favorite F words back on Day 5, including: Fearless, Fabulous, Fine, Fun, Faith, Freedom, Forgiveness, to name a Few.
Last week I dove into the word Fan.
Today’s F*ing Friday is dedicated to the words:
As in, may the force be with you.
Oh. Where. To. Begin.
Justin is in the other room watching Star Wars — not the Star Wars of our youth but the version of our adulthood, Clone Wars Star Wars II — me thinks. It’s hard to keep them straight since they all came out of order in the first place.
I, however, am sitting here thinking of another f*ing force.
This afternoon I received an email from a college friend. Her note made me sad, it was shocking, and really unbelievable. We lost two classmates this year.
My eyes welled with tears, as it feels so overwhelming and unbelievable. I mean, I feel so young, they were so young. It’s just not fair.
And then the words of my father filtered into my mind. “Life’s not fair, Jamie.”
That’s what he would say when my young compassionate and tender heart would lament about what I heard on the evening news. And then he would add in an exception to the fair rule that had something to do with hand grenades. I can’t exactly remember.
But, I usually heard these words after I became wholly upset over something I couldn’t control. Like when I heard about the death of Samantha Smith, a child ambassador to the Soviet Union — that was before she died in a plane crash.
Or the time that I watched a televised in-depth report about an unexplained newly discovered virus called HIV.
Just not fair.
Or when the Challenger exploded on TV right in front of my sixth grade classroom.
So not fair.
Or, even today, when I read Kris Carr‘s newsletter about her recent doctor’s appointment. She shared her doctor’s advice that she not become a parent the old fashioned way for fear of upsetting the delicate balance of her cancer in remission.
Seems not fair.
I suppose my father was right when he said life isn’t fair. But, now, just like back then, I have a hard time digesting it. I have always been a sensitive soul.
So I will continue to believe there is a force that exists that ultimately explains the unfairness, and gives us a reason behind it all. A miracle here. Some magic there. A better way on the other side. And life that goes on in other amazing ways for our head, heart, body and soul.
To my dear Brandi and Jen, our paths did cross so I’m sure we’ll meet again.
May the force be with you.