Tag Archives: fear

GIFT DAY 094 30-day gratitude challenge: day 18 – lean in to courage

4 Apr

Day 18 over here….of the 30-Day Gratitude Challenge.

What are you grateful for today?

My new hobby is tracking my pH balance. Yesterday I was dark yellow. Today I am closer to green. Green is good! The pH has gone up past 7.0 according to my pH sticks which is more alkaline. And that’s good — the lemons in my water must be doing their job.

ph balance, jamie eslinger, thepromisedaily.com

Lovemore Fearless!
That’s my mantra. And today, well… I cried my eyes out with a lot of fear and then love and then fear and then some more love.

I showed up for my thyroid ultrasound early, after mustering up all the courage my bright smile could handle.

(Did I tell you I was once voted Most Likely To Be Happy In A Nuclear Holocaust? True story. I was in college. And, today, I felt so very not myself.)

While laying on the radiology table I sent consistent messages of love and joy to every fiber of my body. I joked around with the radiologist. We plotted a plan for the hospital to offer foot massages and salt scrubs…. and then…

I sat in the nurse’s chair to have my blood drawn. As soon as she pulled out the fist full of viles my stomach turned.

There were more than ten plastic viles sitting on the table below. Before the needle even appeared my eyes began watering.

“Are you okay?” The nurse asked me.
“I might pass out,” I tried to joke but I couldn’t stop the tears.
“Do you want to lay down?” She asked.
“It’s not physical,” I tried to explain. “It’s emotional.”

The procedure began. The needle poked. The nurse stopped.

“Are you holding your breath?” she asked me.
“Maybe?” I answered, not sure if I was still breathing.
“Don’t hold your breath, or you will pass out.” She smiled.

I sat there with streams running down my face, wondering, “Why am I crying.”
And that’s when the answer hit me. “I’m scared.”

That’s the funky, funny, not so ironic thing about f*Ing fear. It usually sneaks up from behind, catches you off-guard when you least expect it. In public no less. With a needle jammed up your arm and ten plastic viles being filled red.

So what did I do?
I let the tears fall. Facing my fear, in living color, crying out loud, on the spot.

And I prefer to call it courage.

So, today I am grateful for:

1) Making lemons into pH lemonade
2) Tears
3) Courage

What are you grateful for?

More tomorrow.
Lovemore (fearless),
Jamie

{Your turn! Share what you’re grateful for in the comments section below. Courage.}

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GIFT DAY 064: are you pushing my fear button?

5 Mar

Justin interrupted me today. 

Because he HAD to show me this video online. He PROMISED me, “it’s funny.”

The video is of a cat who jumps a foot in the air every time the Mario Brother’s video game makes a “boing” sound.

cat fear, getting over fear, jamie eslinger, thepromisedaily.com

The cat has no idea where the sound is coming from. The cat reacts instinctively by jumping up in the air and out of harm’s way.

The video is funny because you (the viewer) know what the sound is — and the cat doesn’t.

The video is funny because you have special insight, you know there is nothing to fear.

And that made me laugh.

Because really, we all have that power.

Fear is like a button on a video game.
It gets pushed when we can’t see in the dark. Or when we don’t understand what’s coming next, or when we walk on stage.

Or when we want something really, really, super, duper, extra-special bad that it gives us a tummy ache.

That’s easy to say.
The hard part is turning the fear button off when it gets pushed and makes your stomach go BOING!

But that’s where our power comes in. In the middle of the night, in the middle of the dark, when you find yourself in the middle of the stage, it’s time to push the LOVE button.

I know this from my year of swimming with sharks, rafting the Grand Canyon (sleeping next to scorpions!) and facing my biggest fears.

I know this because love and fear can’t co-exist. They don’t play together.
They are two totally separate, different, incompatible video games.

Question is… which one are you playing?

More tomorrow.
Lovemore (fearless),
Jamie

{What do you love more than you fear? Share in the comments section below.}

deepak_nothingisimpossible

My little dream officially launched this week: The Promise Daily!

Please share with a friend. And your mom. And your dad’s auntie’s daughter’s neighbor’s best friend.

Because nothing is impossible.

P.S. Ready to take action?
Registration for You Can Do Anything 2013 coaching group ends March 11 at midnight.

If you want hands-on support for your promise, group encouragement, and a bigger commitment to stick to your goals, just click here. 

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Day 323: thanks and giving to spiders (yes, that’s right, spiders!)

20 Nov

Eeeeeeeeeek! 
What scares you? 

Tonight while I was sitting upstairs typing away on my computer Justin screamed from downstairs.

“Jamie, come here!”

“What?” I asked somewhat annoyed because I didn’t’ want to move or be distracted.

“Come quick!!!”

I had a flash of terror knowing Justin never yells for me in a panic. “Oh, my God are you okay??” I jumped up screaming as I tore down the stairs to see what was a matter.

He stood in front of the bathroom pointing to the wall. “There’s a spider.”

“What?” I laughed and pouted at the same time. “But, you’re not afraid of spiders!”

“I know.” He said and smiled. “But that’s what you sound like.”

I was offended and defended myself. “I haven’t screamed about a spider in MONTHS.”  Months, I tell you.

And, I haven’t.

In my Lovemore+Fearless year I have embraced the arachnids of the world. Well, not really. I have actually just stopped screaming and running into other rooms. But that is HUGE progress. HUGE.

Today I even encountered a roach at my feet.

That’s right, a full fledged, living, breathing, crawling on all fours (or sixes? I don’t know how many legs they have…) right before my very eyes roach.

I didn’t scream or run.
Promise.

It’s amazing what can happen in a year.
I highly recommend it.

So do all the spiders whose lives have been spared. 

And that brings us to THANKSGIVING….
Because when you look up the word SPARED it says:

spared
past participle, past tense of spare (Verb)

Verb:
  1. Give (something of which one has enough) to (someone); afford to give to: “she asked if I could spare her a dollar or two”.
  2. Make free or available.

That’s right — to give instead of to take.

I never thought of my arachnophobia as “taking” something away, but now I see it that way.

  • I have taken time away from my life, and Justin’s life every time I screamed bloody murder in the face of a spider.
  • I have taken many spider lives away too.

But I like looking at it this way, from a GIVING point of view:

  • What else could I GIVE all that energy of screaming and crying and yelling out in the name of a spider?
  • How could I use that energy to fuel my life forward instead of freezing it in terror?

I have begun to see the light on this issue. All because I made a promise to face my fears.

So Happy Thanksgiving and thank you dear spiders. You have taught me a valuable lesson. I promise to continue to be more giving (and thankful) and not run away.

Lovemore+Fearless.
xo~Jamie

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Day 228: can your printer do this?

16 Aug

Today, while working away, I noticed something strange on the printer: 
January 26 in big letters and numbers on the eery green screen.

My birthday is January 26.

How did the printer know that?

I have never noticed this before.

Does it always say January 26?
Am I that unaware of my surroundings?
Or, does the printer just love me?

Probably not the latter since I wrestled with it for the last two days  as it gobbled up every sheet of paper in sight, crumpling up bits of black-ink sprayed 8.5 x 11 dead trees inside its guts.

Paper Jam.
Paper Jam.
Paper Jam.

It screamed at me, until I finally had enough and pulled out my last resort: the OFF button.

And, then, when I turned it back on, the All-In-One printer said: January 26.
As if trying to say, “I  know who did this to me.”

Or, maybe it was trying to say, “Happy Belated Birthday.”

Who knows…
It remains a mystery.

I am a little afraid.
So, I did a little research to see if there is a word for this fear of machines, and there is:  Xeroxophobia: fear of using anything made by Xerox, or fear of office equipment in general.

Now that’s a fear I didn’t even know I had (or maybe have).

I can’t wait to see what the printer says tomorrow. 

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Day 219: three things i love more than chocolate (today!) fearless, fun, boston!

7 Aug

So many things to be grateful for today, in this Three Things I LOVE More Than Chocolate (today!) series.

Love is greater than fear.

And, today, My friend, Cindy Loughran, gave these tips on stage at Tory Johnson’s Spark and Hustle Tour in Boston to help you overcome your fears.

7 Steps for Overcoming Your Fear:

1) Clarify your goal

2) Identify your fear

3) Identity your limiting beliefs

4) Seek contrary evidence

5) Envision and embody success

6) Create a concrete action plan

7) Get support and get started

And, it couldn’t be better timing.

As I drove down my old street in the South End, I realized this was the first time I have visited Boston that I felt no fear, looking at my old condo building and hanging out in my old haunts.

It’s truly a new life. How refreshing!

I was overjoyed to see Lan, at my old nail spot, remember me when I walked in the door. It’s been years since I’ve been back to her salon and she still remembered me.

How fabulous, how fun!

20120807-225053.jpg

I don’t know why I was afraid Lan wouldn’t remember me. Maybe because it has been three years? Maybe because she has so many clients you can literally feel a breeze in her salon from people walking in and out the door?  Or, maybe, just maybe, it’s because I have grown so much in my own heart and head over these last three years I hardly recognize myself?

No matter the reason, it was great to see a familiar face and a friend, and realize despite the time and distance, some things never change.

Like a really great pedicure…
Where everybody knows your name.

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Day 215: f*ing friday :: fishing

3 Aug

TGIF.
Today continues the weekly series, F*ing Fridays, which will coincidentally occur on Friday. In Year One, I mentioned some of my favorite F words back on Day 5, including: Fearless, Fabulous, Fine, Fun, Faith, Freedom, Forgiveness, to name a Few.

Last week I dove into the words Forever Friends.

Today’s F*ing Friday is dedicated to the word:
Fishing.

As in, I’m not afraid of fish.  

Well, maybe I am. Not really. Okay, a little bit.

It’s just that they are so squirmy and squishy. And, wet.

Tonight, Justin is off fishing for the second night in a row on the ocean blue.  And, I am happy to be inside where it is hot and dry.

Here’s Justin’s fake fish kiss with his catch from last night.

I’m not afraid of fish. Really, I’m not.
I like to eat them. I just don’t like to touch them.

There’s something a little messed up about that, I admit.
Good thing Justin will throw those fish back in the ocean where they f*ing belong!

I guess I don’t put fish in the “fear” category.
More like the “prefer not to touch” category.

And, somehow, there is a huge difference in my head between the two.

Happy F*ing Friday.
May you catch only what you wish for and keep everything you love.

Tomorrow, I wil be back with  Three Things I love…more than chocolate (today!).

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Day 194: f*ing friday :: fearmongers

13 Jul

TGIF.
Today continues the weekly series, F*ing Fridays, which will coincidentally occur on Friday. In Year One, I mentioned some of my favorite F words back on Day 5, including: Fearless, Fabulous, Fine, Fun, Faith, Freedom, Forgiveness, to name a Few.

Last week I dove into the words Flat water and Food shortage

Today’s F*ing Friday is dedicated to the word:
Fearmongers.

As in, abundance.

We are living in the most peaceful time in history. But, you wouldn’t know it by reading a paper, watching the news or tracking the breaking news alerts by media fearmongers online.

And, the best is yet to come.
Peter Diamandis explains all in this TED video based on his new book titled Abundance. I added the book to my wish list today and watched this video:

Abundance: The Future Is Better Than You Think written by Peter Diamandis and Steven Kotler explains this concept of optimism + technological advancements + social good, as well as, facts and figures to back up the idea that we have an extraordinary decade ahead of us.

What struck me most was this statistic:
Three billlion more people will be added to the internet around the world in the coming decade. That’s three billion more people who we have not heard from yet, who will join our collective consciousness and conversation. That’s also three billion more brains to help solve our worldly issues of poverty, water, food and health, along with the fast paced technological changes to come.

As I watched today I thought….
Maybe the Good Old Days are actually in our future.

It’s certainly a good glass of optimism to throw back against a backdrop of negative news cycles playing on the fear and vulnerability of our controlling Amygdalas.

So, go ahead, watch the video.
I’d love to know what you think.

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Day 108: what are you afraid of?

17 Apr

What are you afraid of?

It’s a question I have been batting around for a while.

My answers really don’t make sense.
For instance, I am more afraid of a teeny, tiny spider in the corner of the room than I am of speaking in front of a room full of thousands of people.

Doesn’t compute.

Today I listened to a little Tony Robbins and was surprised to hear him say this:
“Stress is actually fear.”

It makes sense, but it’s just one of those things that is so simply obvious, it is mundane — and brilliant — at the same time.

I think I need to reevaluate my fear factors.

It’s not about what I am afraid of, but instead, what stresses me out.

The new question should be:
Where am I stressed? 

Game changer.
Light bulb.
Like I said, Tony… brilliant.

What stresses you out?

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Day 74: i have started listening

14 Mar

A funny thing happened on the way to making this promise …I have started listening.

In the last week, two different people mentioned the same book to me. So I took it as a sign and bought it.

I have started listening.

The book is called Heal Your Body A-Z: The Mental Causes for Physical Illness and the Way to Overcome Them, by Louise L. Hay.

As soon as my brown Amazon Prime box arrived (I love PRIME and the benefits of free shipping!) I opened the book and thumbed through the pages until I landed on this one:

Hodgkin’s Dis-ease.
The probable cause is listed as:

“Blame and a tremendous fear of not being good enough. A frantic race to prove one’s self until the blood has no support itself.  The joy of life is forgotten in the race for acceptance.”

The word FEAR jumped off the page at me and I almost dropped the book into my lunch.

There’s that word again ….FEAR. And, that other word: BLOOD.

In some ways, I am surprised but not shocked.

Mama Sling would always say to me, “Jamie, you burn your candle at both ends.” And, given my spleen qi deficiency diagnosis, I think my acupuncturist would agree.

But, now, in reading this book, I am beginning to wonder — why?

Just why have I always burnt the candle at both ends? Is it fear driven? Am I in a race for acceptance? Could it be the same race against time that all cancer survivors feel?

The answer is: I do not know.
But, I have started listening.

According to Louise Hay, the curing thought pattern is this:

I am perfectly happy to be me.
I am good enough just as I am.
I love and approve of myself.
I am joy expressing and receiving.

And, there’s that other word that I have dedicated myself to: LOVE. 

Who knows where this is going, but I have started listening to the whispers in the wind, to the thoughts in my head, to the feeling in my gut, and to the resources, movies, books and articles that serendipitously seem to be mentioned to me out of the blue.

I have started listening. 
Have you? 

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Day 73: dissolving fear

13 Mar

In thinking about this journey of overcoming fear, I found this quote today:

“Love dissolves anger, love releases resentment, love dissipates fear, and love creates safety.”
Louise L. Hay 

It’s a good reminder.
For any ailment the answer is always love.

love
Love.
LOVE.

For everything.

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