Today continues the weekly series, F*ing Fridays, which will coincidentally occur on Friday. I mentioned some of my favorite F words back on Day 5, including: Fearless, Fabulous, Fine, Fun, Faith, Freedom, Forgiveness, to name a Few.
Last week I dove into the word Festivities.
Today’s F*ing Friday is dedicated to the word:
As in, Day 365.
That’s right, it’s the end of the road. The top of the mountain. The final destination. The icing on the cake.
The f*ing finale if you will.
Cue the fireworks.
Actually, there will be fireworks all around the world at approximate 11:59pm, wherever you may be.
So, what happens when you take care of your head, heart, body and soul for one entire year?
Other than my underwear becoming wholly holey, I have added and subtracted much over this year.
I purchased no clothing, shoes or frivolous items.
Bar one pair of running shoes that I acquired at the beginning of the year to better my body. (I even laced them up and ran in a foot race, thank you very much for dragging me along Amy Crawford!).
At the beginning of the year, the thought of not shopping was purely painful.
I agonized over it, I held my hands in my pockets while walking through department stores to prevent myself from the slight movement of reaching out and touching fabric, as if feeling it across my skin was a sin.
So I decided I had to remove myself completely from temptations way. I bowed out of shopping trips, I walked on the outside of stores, only to peer in through the windows, knowing that they couldn’t lure me as long as I didn’t cross the threshold of the front door.
I cleaned house.
As I debated the merits of deleting all of my promotional emails from my favorite fashion icons. In the end I opted out of most of them but held on to a few favorites just to stay in the loop of the design world.
I said no to chocolate and mochas and cookies.
At fancy restaurants! Even at Starbucks! But soon discovered cacao powder and nibs, my new source of chocolate flavor (and magnesium — see it’s good for me!).
I successfully beat the sugar blues.
I gave up coffee — twice.
The first attempt failed as soon as the month-long Ayurvedic cleanse was complete. This second attempt has stuck even through these past two weeks in the Seattle area, a.k.a. The Coffee Aroma Capital Of The World.
I lost weight.
I gained weight.
And continued to lose, gain, lose, gain. And, then I read these words that changed everything — instead of losing weight, decide to let go of it, and instead “Give It Up.” Because when we lose things we try to find them again.
I lost other things too.
Like the stone in my mother’s ring. The most precious of worldly possessions in my grasp, that I wore on my hand everyday, unhinged itself and fell to the earth, nowhere to be found.
But what I gained was extraordinary.
New friendships, new adventures, new ideas, new ways of looking at myself and the world.
I tried new things.
Like kettle-bells (thank you Yvette!) and green smoothies (after weeks of failed attempts, I finally mastered the art of a yummy tasting green smoothie). I bought glasses online (sight unseen!) and removed all the under-wire from my bras. I even did yoga with an iPhone App while on vacation!
I pushed myself to the edge.
I jumped into the Martha’s Vineyard water at night (thank you Justin!) and experienced the most beautiful Tinkerbell-like magical bioluminescence I have ever seen.
I learned from the masters.
Like Debbie Phillips, Joshua Rosenthal, Rob Berkley, Donna Eden, Joan Borysenko, Belleruth Naparstek, Mark Hyman, Bruce Lipton, John Douillard, Andrew Weil and Deepak Chopra.
Sitting before such great teachers made me realize that while I don’t know everything, I don’t have to. We all have innate intelligence. We already have what we need. And, if we don’t have it yet, we aren’t ready for it, or just don’t need it.
Things showed up when I needed them.
From a freak snow storm in Michigan, to a cold and rainy day in New York city, I borrowed clothes and shoes, jackets and gloves (thank you Mary Ellen Jones!). Boxes surprised me in the mail (thank you Jaynane and Dawn!) and saints handed me down their gently used clothing (Debbie!).
More than anything else, I didn’t give up.
Through hurricanes and earthquakes and from all corners of this country I wrote. Even when I was locked out of our Mexican Villa, I borrowed a computer and beat the clock to post my blog post in time (thank you Lizette and Mike!).
There was one night where I almost forgot to write.
After a fun-loving time out with Debbie Phillips and Holly Getty, seeing the movie Bridesmaids, I was so full of laughter and love that I came home ready to call it a night. Just as I started to prepare for bed, Justin asked me the golden question: “Are you going to write your blog tonight?“
Saved. (Thanks honey!)
I learned a few new things.
Like how to properly dry my hair. Never knew I was doing it wrong these past 37 years!
I found inspiration.
In the magic and the mundane. From the dew drops on leaves to the look on Pup‘s face, I began to see the world with new puppy dog eyes. I revisited the place where my promise began and found both new friends and even deeper inspiration (thank you Lake Austin Spa Resort!).
I had support.
From my life-long friends (Laura, Sara, Lisa and Sheryl) to my Facebook buddies, from Debbie Phillips and my Women on Fire sisters to the fun-loving clan called The Davis Family, I had more than wind beneath my wings — I had love at my back.
And there were heart-felt conversation (Debi Lilly!) that gave me strength.
There were days when people touched me beyond words. Through a simple “like” on Facebook or an email or note, it made all the difference.
I found magic.
I started this year resolute to make my promise happen all on my own, no matter what. I was, after all, doing this for ME.
But the fact is, I couldn’t have done any of this without YOU.
Because I learned a thing or two about magic this year, and it is as simple as this: we are all connected.
If I change, you change. And if you change, I do too.
We are in this together.
As I sit here typing these final words of 2011, with tears rolling down my face and my head, heart, body and soul full, all I can think is this:
I wouldn’t want it any other way.
And, that, my dears, is the Grand Finale.
With much thanks and continued love for you in 2012, Happy New Year!
P.S. It’s not f*ing over!!
P.P.S. I will reveal my new promise for 2012 tomorrow, a.k.a. Day #1.