Tag Archives: soul

Day 364: the wrap up part 4 :: soul

30 Dec

F*ing Friday is postponed until tomorrow …you’ll soon find out why.

Today we are continuing the wrap up of 2011.

So much has changed in my world, in this year, that I am dedicating a full day to each of my promises: head, heart, body and soul.

Because if I have learned anything this year, it is this: the magic is in reflection.

Part 4:  soul

This whole soul thing has taken me a while to figure out.  On Day 184, smack dab in the middle of the year, I contemplated my depth and understanding of the soul.

I was confused to say the least.
And then something happened.

As the days went on I began to understand my soul like never before.  As if I could feel it, as if this whole cosmic universe finally made sense.

It took a little more than a two 21-day meditation challenges.  And, it didn’t hurt that a few masseuses seem to have more spiritual insight into my life than I ever could imagine.

But, in the end, I found a place deep inside myself I always knew was there, something I felt even as a young child — a connection to spirit, to source, to light, to what-have-you.

As I’ve said before, I suppose it’s no surprise that I started off this year first taking care of my body with food and exercise and then my head with books and research and meditation.  With each day my heart opened and then finally, as if it took all three components to work together as a key, something turned inside me, as if my soul was unlocked.

It has brought me many gifts, including bringing me closer to the spirit of my mother, to the souls of my ancestors, to the light in my own life.

On many days, it has even brought me to tears.

Today, on the eve of Day 365, it brings me great happiness to know this year may be over but my promise will never end.

Because nothing ends.
We all go on.

See you tomorrow.
xo~Jamie

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Day 344: a ball of barking love

10 Dec

This sweet three-month old Golden Retriever puppy is learning how to be a service dog.

Her name is Vicki, and when she grows up her purpose will be to help military vets who have Post Traumatic Stress.

I have watched Vicki over the last week in action.

She is just a puppy, not fully trained, nor ready to take up her post as a service dog.  But that doesn’t mean she isn’t already in service here with these 600 attendees of this conference.

At each break people flock to Vicki.  She’s an instant ooh and ah magnet.

Watching her in action made me think more about purpose and promises.

I mean, she doesn’t have a clue what her job will be when she grows up, or what training she needs to go through, or if she knows enough yet, or has taken enough credited classes, or learned from the right teachers.

But, that doesn’t stop Vicki.
She just lives in a constant state of licks and love, already a dog in service.

And, that makes a lot of sense.
As I try to wrap my mind around everything I have learned this week about the science of the body and the soul, the data, the studies, the cases, the outcomes, I feel overwhelmed with enlightenment and absolutely confused at the same time.

And, that makes me think of Vicki.

Vicki doesn’t seem to pause and think about what diet she is on, what food she is eating, if it’s better to be a vegan or gluten-free, full of calories or carbs.

Vicki doesn’t pause when people come up to greet her either, considering whether they are friend or foe, she just bounds straight into the arms of whomever is there licking away on their cheeks, tucking her head into their arms.

She is a ball of barking love.

Her purpose is clear and, yet, she is only a puppy.
I think we could all learn a thing or two from Vicki.

No matter what the data says, or the protocol proclaims, or diets recommend, it is clear to me there is one element that holds true in every scientific study.  If we were all just bigger balls of barking love our lives would be richer, our world would be happier and our health would be better.

Good for the head, heart, body and soul.

Makes me feel like this year of experimenting has brought me through so many tests, trials and tribulations, only to land me back in that place I knew best as a tiny, little baby.

Universal, undeniable, unfettering LOVE.
Who would have thought it could be that easy?
Woof, woof, indeed.

“Remember this is a trip into the Unknown. If you think you know where you are going you are on the wrong road.”

~ Father Thomas Keating

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Day 296: a road trip for the body and soul

23 Oct

I slept next to this contraption once at Boston Logan Airport.
All night long it went Cling! Ping! Ding! Whoosh! Whack.

It was during a holiday with my trusted traveling buddies Laura and Lisa. We were road tripping between Boston and New York during Thanksgiving Break in order to do our patriotic duty of walking the Freedom Trail and witnessing the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade all in one week.

We were sophomores in college and back then it made total logical sense to sleep in the airport instead of pay for a hotel room (since we had early morning flights).

All night long I heard the inner workings of the art installation as I tried to wrap my six-foot frame into some sort of slumber between two arm rests of the pleather airport lounge seat.

All night long it went Cling! Ping! Ding! Whoosh! Whack.

Today as I sat next to this same contraption at Logan’s Terminal E, I thought to myself — I will never do that again.

I’m discovering there’s a lot of things I would never do again.  But, back then, it was exciting to spend a night in a foreign city — at the airport!

Actually, it was more than exciting, it was daring.

Everything about that trip was daring for three 19 year-old women from small agricultural towns.  We rode buses and subways and planes through the great North East. We booked a (seedy) hotel room in Times Square.  (I have no idea HOW we found a HOTEL ROOM back then without the INTERNET.  But we did.)

We froze in arctic wind tunnels in the shadows of New York City sky scrapers as the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade floated before our very eyes.  At least, that is, until we couldn’t take the bitter cold anymore and then huddled all together in the doorway of a luxury hotel under outdoor heaters.

We ran through the streets of New York laughing and giggling. With wide eyes and big hearts we tried our best to fit in.

We thought we were so sophisticated.
We laughed like school girls.

We made our way through by sensing and seeing and asking for directions.

At stop lights and intersections we instinctively followed the crowd.
“They go. We go!” We screamed to each other following native New Yorkers into the street without (GASP!) that familiar blinking walk signal.

Like I said, it was daring.

Other road trips took Laura, Lisa and I to Chicago, Seattle, Alabama and the Gulf of Mexico.  With each new adventure we grew bigger as the world became smaller.

As I sat next to that same old contraption, chiming and clinking in the airport today, I was whooshed back in time to a younger, risk-taking version of myself.

It occurred to me that the journey I am on this year, during this promise, isn’t all that different from the adventures and risks I took back then.

This road trip is taking me in a different direction of course, one more inward than out.  But, in a way, it is allowing me to grow bigger while the world appears to be smaller with each and every step.

And, in much the same way, I am making my way through this head/heart/body & soul road trip by sensing and seeing and asking for directions.

In the process, I have cleaned up my food act, learned to meditate, traded cookies for green smoothies, and powered through yoga.

I have discovered I shop for emotional reasons far beyond my conscious awareness.

But, more than anything, I am learning how to touch the surface of my soul and hear the voice of my mother again.  Like the tip of an iceberg there is still so much more to discover.

Who would have thought not shopping could bring me so many riches?

And, that thought alone, makes the light bulb inside my head go Cling! Ping! Ding! Whoosh! Whack.

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Day 295: trick or treat, smell my feet

22 Oct

There are a few things I took home from the spa this week.

For one, the lovely lavender scented body lotion, shampoo and body wash samples.
For two, a life’s lesson in the soul.

And, finally, (leave it to me!) the brand new pair of shoes that comes standard with each hotel room.

Hey, they were free, and comfy, and totally packable, and beach ready, and, and…

I can make excuses all day long about why I need a new pair of shoes.
Even those that are complementary.

But, I have to say, when I wear these shoes and look down at my feet, all I see is relaxation, peaceful serenity and a small bit of bliss.  It’s like a mini transport back to the spa, with my toes poking out.

If shoes are what cushion our path, then I must admit, I am pretty satisfied wearing these rubber soles that reek of lavender on my feet.

I might just keep them around for those times when stress inevitably sets in.  What a gentle reminder to take a deep breathe, relax and be mindful.

As the saying goes…

Trick or treat.
Smell my feet.

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Day 262: what do you know for sure?

19 Sep

It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.
—Mark Twain

There are so many things I don’t know, and, the deeper I go into this year and this promise, the more I am learning about what I don’t know.

Tonight I met up with my dear friend Gavin at a restaurant, getting in a little time to catch up during my short stay in Boston.  As we chatted, Gavin asked me about what’s changed in my life during this year and specifically what will I keep doing once the year is over?

The answer was easy: Sugar.
I never before knew just how addicted to sugar I am, or how terribly evil sugar can be on the human body.  I was never aware.  I just didn’t know.

Not only did I not know how very destructive sugar could be, rather, I KNEW that I loved dessert.  And, I thought it was completely normal to be a sugar aficionado, a woman who never left a restaurant without ordering dessert.

In fact, I would always complain that restaurants should have a tiny chocolate chip cookie that was warm and gooey available for dessert — just so you could have a tiny sweet treat even if you were stuffed and couldn’t stomach a full blown dessert.

It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so that gets you into trouble.

Now, I know, at least about sugar.
I also know a little about meditation and the power and peace it brings. I know about toxicity too, and the importance of detoxing my body.

But, what I don’t know (although I feel I am getting closer to understanding) is that ever present question: what is the soul?

This weekend Deepak Chopra touched upon some soul food and some answers.  He pointed out that when it comes to the soul, science cannot locate it.  Through body scans, PET scan, radiology, surgery, the soul cannot be located … therefore, the simplest explanation is: if you can’t find something in the body, it’s not there.

The soul, he described, is our core consciousness and it is not local.  Meaning, it is not locatable in time or space.

Then, he had the audience, the entire 4,000+ person audience sit in silence and listen to him speak.  As the room fell silent and his voice filled the void, he reminded each of us that the one listening to him, the one focusing on nothing else but being present, is the soul.

Try it for a second if you like.
Sit in silence.  Who is there.  Who is hearing the trees blow in the fall wind outside your window? Who is hearing children in the room next door?  Who is hearing the hum of the air conditioner?

Who is it with you, when you sit in silence and observe?

I may not know …yet.
But, I’m going with Deepak on this one:  It is the soul.

“I am not in the body.
I am not in the mind.
I am not in the world.
It is in me.”

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Day 184: in the middle part 4 :: soul

3 Jul oregon_coast

You’ve made it.  Over the hump of 2011 and looking directly at the other side.  Approximately six months left to go, 181 days to mark on the calendar.

Today concludes this four-part series, In The Middle.

Day 4: Soul

I wonder what Lewis and Clark thought as they hoofed it across North America, did they high-five each other to celebrate their arrival at the Continental Divide?

Okay, who knows if high-fives were invented yet.  Maybe they just shot a possum or something at the half-way mark — all I’m saying is when Lewis & Clark made it to the half-way point of the Oregon Trail they had yet to experience Oregon.

For the most part, they still didn’t know what was out there.

I am by no means comparing The Promise 365 to a government sponsored road trip on horse back, just saying this: as much as I would like to congratulate myself for not buying anything so far and diving deep in the head, heart, body & soul, we’re only half-way there.  It’s really just half-time.

As my basketball coach would say:
“The score is now 0-0.  You still have to win the second half.” 
Game on.

As matters of the soul go, I have to admit I get confused.
Just what is my soul anyway?

On some days I believe it’s where my heart beats with a deep feeling or emotion, on others it seems more in line with my head.  There are days when I feel like an old soul on this earth and still others that make me weep like a baby.

Here’s the definition from our friends at Wikipedia:

soul

noun /sōl/
souls, plural

  • The spiritual or immaterial part of a human being or animal, regarded as immortal
  • A person’s moral or emotional nature or sense of identity
  • The essence of something
  • Emotional or intellectual energy or intensity
  • A person regarded as the embodiment of a specified quality
  • An individual person
  • A person regarded with affection or pity
  • African-American culture or ethnic pride

See what I mean?

“Soul” seems to be one of “those words” to me, like “love” or “friendship” or “shit”  ~  the singular word just doesn’t describe the deep levels into which one can get herself.

Being 184 days in, I can report this: the closest I’ve come to soul food during this promise was my adventures in a 21 Day Meditation Challenge from the Chopra Center.

The meditations encouraged me to listen more (to my head, heart, body & soul) and talk less (tough gig sometimes).  Most important they reminded me that my journey is not one to seek perfection (even tougher gig) but rather seek being, just being.

So, I’m taking my time with this soul thing.

Mostly because I imagine Clark asking Lewis many times along the Oregon Trail, “Are we there yet?” “Are we there yeeeet?”  and “Are we there yeeeeeeeeeeet?” until of course they finally saw the power of the Pacific crash up against the rocks of that beautiful coastline and they knew exactly where “there” was.

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