What scares you?
Tonight while I was sitting upstairs typing away on my computer Justin screamed from downstairs.
“Jamie, come here!”
“What?” I asked somewhat annoyed because I didn’t’ want to move or be distracted.
I had a flash of terror knowing Justin never yells for me in a panic. “Oh, my God are you okay??” I jumped up screaming as I tore down the stairs to see what was a matter.
He stood in front of the bathroom pointing to the wall. “There’s a spider.”
“What?” I laughed and pouted at the same time. “But, you’re not afraid of spiders!”
“I know.” He said and smiled. “But that’s what you sound like.”
I was offended and defended myself. “I haven’t screamed about a spider in MONTHS.” Months, I tell you.
And, I haven’t.
In my Lovemore+Fearless year I have embraced the arachnids of the world. Well, not really. I have actually just stopped screaming and running into other rooms. But that is HUGE progress. HUGE.
Today I even encountered a roach at my feet.
That’s right, a full fledged, living, breathing, crawling on all fours (or sixes? I don’t know how many legs they have…) right before my very eyes roach.
I didn’t scream or run.
It’s amazing what can happen in a year.
I highly recommend it.
So do all the spiders whose lives have been spared.
And that brings us to THANKSGIVING….
Because when you look up the word SPARED it says:
past participle, past tense of spare (Verb)
That’s right — to give instead of to take.
I never thought of my arachnophobia as “taking” something away, but now I see it that way.
- I have taken time away from my life, and Justin’s life every time I screamed bloody murder in the face of a spider.
- I have taken many spider lives away too.
But I like looking at it this way, from a GIVING point of view:
- What else could I GIVE all that energy of screaming and crying and yelling out in the name of a spider?
- How could I use that energy to fuel my life forward instead of freezing it in terror?
I have begun to see the light on this issue. All because I made a promise to face my fears.
So Happy Thanksgiving and thank you dear spiders. You have taught me a valuable lesson. I promise to continue to be more giving (and thankful) and not run away.