Archive | 9:12 PM

Day 8: two stubs up

8 Jan

I have two very stubby thumbs. Well, one thumb is really stubby. The other is slightly normal.

I first became aware of my stubs when my cousin pointed at me and screamed, “EWWW! What’s wrong with your thumbs?” There is nothing as sweet as pure honesty from a five year old.

In fact, they are so stubby I was once given a C+ in art class for my still life drawing of a hand holding a winning poker hand.

My teacher attached a note to the flawed masterpiece with helpful instruction: “the thumbs are not in proportion with the rest of the fingers. C+”

I protested showing my own hands, revealing the “out-of-proportion” thumbs. The model was flawed.

Nobody else in my family has stubby thumbs, so they have always been my signature deformity.

Until Megan Fox was outed.
The beautiful star has a defect.  One so horrific she had a thumb double for her appearance in a Motorola Super Bowl commercial.

Megan has short, fat, stubby thumbs.
Thanks to her public de-thumbing, I discovered the actual medical term for this condition we share: Brachydactyly, which literally translates to “short digits”.

I can’t hide them.
However, I have been taught how to hide all my other physical “flaws” — through proper dressing.

How can one grow up an American Girl without knowing how to organize horizontal stripes here, vertical stripes there, block colors down, big, flashy prints up.

Wherever we need to elongate, truncate, elevate, we’ve got it covered (literally, with clothes, makeup, you name it).

The bad news for me: I can’t buy new clothes this year, so if I develop any unsightly physical abnormalities or even just gain a few pounds there will be no new clothes to cover it.

Which makes me think: What if we wore our flaws on our sleeve?
Just like I sport my short, squatty thumbs on my hands.

What if we were that honest with ourselves and each other?

I say, two thumbs up to that…. or, at least 1.5.


[full disclosure: I’ve got one big stubby toe too!]


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