Archive | 8:03 PM

Day 47: blender bender

16 Feb

As promised, I am revealing my two quiz scores today:

1) Shoe Dazzle Style Profile
2) Ayurveda Body Type

But first, can you guess what I had for lunch?!

At approximately noon today, I decided to take my new best friend, Oster The Blender, for a green smoothie test drive.

What a great idea, I thought: I will just drink my lunch!
It saves time, there is no cooking, and definitely no extra calories or bread carbs …the ideal lunch.

So, I stuck my entire body from the waist up into the refrigerator, and searched for items that were green (note: green, but not molded).

I found some spinach leaves (green vegetable, check!) and then added coconut water, and fresh strawberries for color.

Threw in a little cocao powder and protein powder for good measure and began the ancient art of blending, by pushing the hard to decipher button marked “smoothie.”

BBBRRRRRR! (blenders are very loud)

I grabbed an apple to juice it up, and in the middle of removing the apple core, grazed the tip of the knife on the tip of my finger.  Yaaaa-ouch!

After a little kitchen bandaging, my creation was blend-tastic!

Here’s the finished product.
And, how sweet is this!
As the green gush poured into my cup, it left bubbles in a heart shape on the top.

Do you see the heart?

I was so excited to drink it.

Until I reluctantly realized, it tasted AWFUL.
I didn’t want to admit it was disgusting, so I kept sipping. After the fourth sip, and in between the first gag, I gave in.

Green Smoothie = 1
Jamie = 0

My adventures in green smoothies has so far been a complete failure.

As I was rethinking my terrible tasting concoction, I came to this conclusion: maybe I am chemistry deficient? Might explain all of my cooking disasters to date.

Speaking of identifying deficiencies, here’s my body type: Vatta.

It is described as (my highlights in red):

  • Small frame, light and thin / hard to gain.
  • Course, dry, kinky or curly hair.
  • Dry, rough, darker skin.
  • Small eyes, whites of eyes are blue or brown.
  • Very large / small teeth, crooked or shaded.
  • Performs activity quickly, can’t stay idle, quick walking pace.
  • Low strength and endurance.
  • Quick minded, restless, learns fast / forgets fast, high pitch / fast voice.
  • Moods change quickly, tendency to worry, easily excitable, easily stressed.
  • Irregular hunger / digestion, tendency towards constipation.
  • Aversion to cold weather.
  • Prefers warm food / drink and eats quickly.
  • Spends money quickly / doesn’t save.
  • Variable, irregular sex drive.
  • Light, interrupted sleep, dreams are fearful, flying, jumping and running.

Kind of explains my cooking adventures.
Irregular hunger makes me scour the refrigerator for snacks at completely unplanned times. Easily excitable makes me get very excited about the idea of cooking but really, very little patience for the process.

Wish I could be a classic cook, but I am slowing coming to the conclusion I am more of a culinary clash.

The irony is I spent years in food marketing!
I’m like one of those baseball coaches who never played the sport but is a complete genius at the strategy behind it.

And, so, this brings me to one place where I can call myself classic.

According to Ms. Kardashian, I fit the “Classic” fashion profile to a T (no pun intended).

It is here, that I am a perfect 10 — as in shoe size.
Hey, a girl’s gotta have something to hold on to!

I am also holding out hope for my blender.
Can someone please send me a real green smoothie recipe?

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