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Day 224: f*ing friday :: fabulous. fearless. female.

12 Aug

Today continues the weekly series, F*ing Fridays, which will coincidentally occur on Friday. I mentioned some of my favorite F words back on Day 5, including: Fearless, Fabulous, Fine, Fun, Faith, Freedom, Forgiveness, to name a Few.

Last week I dove into the word(s) Free Fun.

Today’s F*ing Friday is dedicated to the word(s):
Fabulous. Fearless. Female.

As in, a postcard.

When I was just a college graduate and a real world upstart making her way through the wonders of Washington, D.C., I was given a little postcard.

It was a gift from a co-worker and it read “Fabulous. Fearless. Female.” with a photo of a truly fabulous woman in a fabulous outfit walking down some fabulous city street.

I poked pins in the four corners of that postcard and adhered it to the bulletin board above my office desk.  I can’t remember what is was for (maybe a magazine ad?) but I do remember that totally fearless woman walking down the street looking like she held the world in the palm of her hand.

Boy, did I want to be that girl.
And, not just for the great outfits.
I wanted that fearless attitude that came with grace and style.
All fabulous.  Completely fearless.  Totally female.

Fifteen years later.
Still working on it.
But, sometimes, I do get a taste of it.

As you may already know, I am a scardy cat when it comes to the ocean.  I don’t like the creepy crawly things that live there during the DAY let alone in the complete and utter darkness of night.

But, Justin loves it.
He loves to go nightswimming, and a few days ago he pleaded with me to join him on his nightly swim.  Because the water was so amazing.

The water was full of Bioluminescence or Phosphorescence — I don’t know the exact scientific term — so, I like to call it lightning water because it looks like lightning bugs glowing and zapping in the water as soon as your body touches it.

I hemmed and hawed.
I negotiated.  I offered to go down to the water, stand at the edge of the water, stick me feet in the water, but NOT swim in it.

That wasn’t good enough.
Justin really wanted me to EXPERIENCE the water.  He kept telling me it was one of the coolest things he had ever seen.  “You HAVE to be in the water to really experience it.  PLEASE.”

He begged over and over.  “PLEASE. Do this for me.”
I whined back.  “I HATE the water. I am SCARED of the water. I DON’T want to go in the water.”

It was a stand off.
I was pouting.
He had his hands together in prayer formation, begging.

So we did what you do when stand-offs occur…
We lobbed a compromise ball back and forth.

Justin offered to go to a hot yoga class with me — IF — I would go into the water with him.  (I have been expounding the benefits of hot yoga for years and begging him to go with me to a class).

I cocked me head to the side.  This was interesting.  But, was it worth putting on my bikini and diving into the cold dark water?  NO.

Then he offered to carry me into the water so I wouldn’t have to feel the crabs crawling on the bottom of the ocean floor.  And, he would hold me in the water so my feet would never touch the ground (and all those creepy things on it).

Hum… he had pulled out the old “take-away-all-the-excuses” card.

And, that’s the moment where we found compromise.
Three yoga classes for him.
One nightswim for me.
Deal made.

I put on my swimsuit.

On Day 206 I wrote about nightswimming.
A few days ago, I actually went nightswimming.

I wish I could report that I entered the water AT NIGHT in a fearless and fabulous way.   I cannot.  Their was a lot of whining.  On my part.

But Justin held me in his arms and as soon as our bodies hit the water, sparks!  All around us.  The lightning water bounced off each finger, toe, leg, arm. It is one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had.  I felt like Tinkerbell sending fairy dust out through the ripples in the water.

In that moment I was so grateful.  Justin was right, I had to experience this for myself. There are just some things that you can’t do from the sidelines.

SO maybe I wasn’t completely fearless. It took quite the coaxing and compromise to get me into the water.  But, it was totally worth it.

When I think back to that postcard pinned to the cork-board above my very first office desk, I realize that I already am that girl –  Fabulous. Fearless. Female.  – maybe just not all at the same time.

But I have my moments.
Some are more feminine that others.  Some more fabulous.  And some a little fearless.

And, that’s enough.
Because, it’s better than a postcard.
It’s the real thing.

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