Archive | 7:12 PM

Day 18: right now

18 Jan

Last year feels so easy to me.  Right now.
Sure, it was hard, at first, to quit shopping.  Then it became overwhelming to write every single day.  But, soon, with enough time and patience I moved through the struggle and found my stride one day at a time.

Last year seems so cut and dry to me.  Right now.
No shopping allowed. Just invest in the head, heart, body and soul.
Check!  Check!  Done!

It’s feels easy now because it’s over.
Because I did it.  It is complete.

Now I sit here staring at 347 days in front of me all over again, with barely a breather in between.

I have to remind myself that in everything I have ever done, the “right now” part of the equation has always been the hardest part.  As soon as “right now” is over, the struggles so easily disappear in the rear view mirror.

Like how the struggles of high school melt away in college.

How the agony of my cancer diagnosis dissipated with treatments complete.

How the stabbing pains in my abdomen, hips and knees for 26.2 miles turned into a triumph of joy as soon as I crossed the finish line in the Twin Cities Marathon.

Even how the little misunderstanding that Justin and I had last night turned into a gorgeous vase of roses today.

It’s amazing how the pain of right now can turn into a sacred memory, a cherished accomplishment and a little moment that brings you closer together as soon as it’s over.

Isn’t it amazing what we can laugh about the next day, the next week, the next decade?

And I suppose that’s why the pain, the bumps, the uncertainty, the unknown  are always worth it. Right now.

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