Day 20: f*ing friday :: figure

20 Jan

F*ing Fridays are back!
And, they will continue to occur on Friday. I mentioned some of my favorite F words back on Day 5 in Year 1, including: Fearless, Fabulous, Fine, Fun, Faith, Freedom, Forgiveness, to name a Few.

Last week I dove into the word Fudge.

Today’s F*ing Friday is dedicated to the word:

As in, go figure.

I am ashamed to admit it, but, it’s true, I keep up with the Kardashians.
Sunday nights find me in front of the television with Kourtney and Kim Taking New York.

It’s Friday and I’m already looking forward to the next f*ing episode.

There’s no excuse for this behavior.  I just can’t help myself.  The awe of watching this train wreck is just so enticing.

Maybe it’s because we all have our own train wreck moments in life and it’s reassuring to see proof on TV.  Maybe it’s because I wish I had four sisters to share, shop and giggle with.

(Tonight, I even found out my Kardashian name:  Kamie Keslingerian.
Yup!  You can go to this overproduced families website and find out your own name too.)

No matter.  It’s time I officially admit it.  I’m a fan.  I’m just not sure if I’m a fan because I like to watch the disaster unfold or because I like to make fun of it …or maybe I like the clothes.

Either way, I can only imagine that these are ultimately roles being played out for our entertainment.  That there must be more to the picture underneath that Kardashian glaze.

I know what it’s like to play a role.

In my little hometown of Twin Falls, we had a stage company called JumpCo (Junior Musical Playhouse Company).  The band of aspiring actors, community volunteers and otherwise talented kids put on full-length classic productions like Grease, Seven Brides For Seven Brothers and other variety shows.

It was a thrill.  There’s even a few famous alums from my time there, like Christina Hendricks, known for her work in Mad Men.

For some, I know it was the launching pad for dreams.
But, for me, it was mostly humbling.

I was always cast as the OLD LADY.  In Grease I played the role of the Principal (yes, the batty one), in Seven Brides I was the mother.

At fourteen, I learned a harsh reality.
Back then, there weren’t many roles that a six-foot tall teenage girl could pull off.  Maybe there could be an exception, if my singing voice would have been exceptional, but it wasn’t, so my height had me typecast from the words Go Greased Lightning.

I eventually left community stage behind and pursued my love of basketball instead.
But not before our beloved director told me her nightmare.  On the eve of our first performance, during intense dress rehearsals, the director pulled me aside and told me I was in her dream the night before.

As she described her nightmare to me, my eyes began to bulge wide with disbelief.  In her dream, I arrived on stage with a machine gun and shot everyone in the cast.  As she told me this my little fourteen-year-old heart sank.  Did she think I was ruining the production?  Am I that awful?

Back then, of course, it was devastating.
Now, looking back, I’m sure I was just playing out some role in her psyche.

And, I suppose that’s the danger of being typecast.
Whether it’s on stage, in front of the camera or in your real life.  At work. With your friends.  Within your family.

Doesn’t matter the gig, if you’re in a role because others think you belong there and not because it fits your heart, you’re playing the wrong part.

Seems so simple now.
Go. Figure.

3 Responses to “Day 20: f*ing friday :: figure”

  1. Ann January 23, 2012 at 8:19 AM #

    Jamie, I saw excerpts from that production of Grease! I was in love with David Steinocker. I drove up from Pocatello to see him in the production. How funny. I wish I’d known you then. 🙂 So funny to think about all that now…

    • Jamie January 23, 2012 at 8:23 AM #

      How ironic! Yes, so long ago it seems now. What a small world Ann!

      • Adam Black July 14, 2012 at 7:31 AM #

        Wow, you look great. You know there were many of us that were stuck just outside the elite inner group at JUMP Co. I wasted too much time wishing I was more than what I was, and trying to find a way in. I think it’s a testament to your character that you chose your own route despite the hurt. (BTW, I thought you were great) Looking back on all of that, I think it should have been more of an outlet to build character and experience instead of an atmosphere of pressure and perfection. I have watched a few episodes of Dance Moms, and can relate a little too well to that mindset. Just wanted to say that without all of us outside that inner circle, the shows would not have gone on. From one “old” actor to another. (Don’t forget the pleasure I had playing old man Jacob in “Joseph and the coat of many colors”) So glad I ran across your blog. Life is an interesting thing.

        Adam Black

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