Archive | 7:45 PM

Day 74: i have started listening

14 Mar

A funny thing happened on the way to making this promise …I have started listening.

In the last week, two different people mentioned the same book to me. So I took it as a sign and bought it.

I have started listening.

The book is called Heal Your Body A-Z: The Mental Causes for Physical Illness and the Way to Overcome Them, by Louise L. Hay.

As soon as my brown Amazon Prime box arrived (I love PRIME and the benefits of free shipping!) I opened the book and thumbed through the pages until I landed on this one:

Hodgkin’s Dis-ease.
The probable cause is listed as:

“Blame and a tremendous fear of not being good enough. A frantic race to prove one’s self until the blood has no support itself.  The joy of life is forgotten in the race for acceptance.”

The word FEAR jumped off the page at me and I almost dropped the book into my lunch.

There’s that word again ….FEAR. And, that other word: BLOOD.

In some ways, I am surprised but not shocked.

Mama Sling would always say to me, “Jamie, you burn your candle at both ends.” And, given my spleen qi deficiency diagnosis, I think my acupuncturist would agree.

But, now, in reading this book, I am beginning to wonder — why?

Just why have I always burnt the candle at both ends? Is it fear driven? Am I in a race for acceptance? Could it be the same race against time that all cancer survivors feel?

The answer is: I do not know.
But, I have started listening.

According to Louise Hay, the curing thought pattern is this:

I am perfectly happy to be me.
I am good enough just as I am.
I love and approve of myself.
I am joy expressing and receiving.

And, there’s that other word that I have dedicated myself to: LOVE. 

Who knows where this is going, but I have started listening to the whispers in the wind, to the thoughts in my head, to the feeling in my gut, and to the resources, movies, books and articles that serendipitously seem to be mentioned to me out of the blue.

I have started listening. 
Have you? 

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