Archive | 7:58 PM

Day 323: thanks and giving to spiders (yes, that’s right, spiders!)

20 Nov

What scares you? 

Tonight while I was sitting upstairs typing away on my computer Justin screamed from downstairs.

“Jamie, come here!”

“What?” I asked somewhat annoyed because I didn’t’ want to move or be distracted.

“Come quick!!!”

I had a flash of terror knowing Justin never yells for me in a panic. “Oh, my God are you okay??” I jumped up screaming as I tore down the stairs to see what was a matter.

He stood in front of the bathroom pointing to the wall. “There’s a spider.”

“What?” I laughed and pouted at the same time. “But, you’re not afraid of spiders!”

“I know.” He said and smiled. “But that’s what you sound like.”

I was offended and defended myself. “I haven’t screamed about a spider in MONTHS.”  Months, I tell you.

And, I haven’t.

In my Lovemore+Fearless year I have embraced the arachnids of the world. Well, not really. I have actually just stopped screaming and running into other rooms. But that is HUGE progress. HUGE.

Today I even encountered a roach at my feet.

That’s right, a full fledged, living, breathing, crawling on all fours (or sixes? I don’t know how many legs they have…) right before my very eyes roach.

I didn’t scream or run.

It’s amazing what can happen in a year.
I highly recommend it.

So do all the spiders whose lives have been spared. 

And that brings us to THANKSGIVING….
Because when you look up the word SPARED it says:

past participle, past tense of spare (Verb)

  1. Give (something of which one has enough) to (someone); afford to give to: “she asked if I could spare her a dollar or two”.
  2. Make free or available.

That’s right — to give instead of to take.

I never thought of my arachnophobia as “taking” something away, but now I see it that way.

  • I have taken time away from my life, and Justin’s life every time I screamed bloody murder in the face of a spider.
  • I have taken many spider lives away too.

But I like looking at it this way, from a GIVING point of view:

  • What else could I GIVE all that energy of screaming and crying and yelling out in the name of a spider?
  • How could I use that energy to fuel my life forward instead of freezing it in terror?

I have begun to see the light on this issue. All because I made a promise to face my fears.

So Happy Thanksgiving and thank you dear spiders. You have taught me a valuable lesson. I promise to continue to be more giving (and thankful) and not run away.


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