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Jamie’s BLOG – DAY 169 :: rubber duckies, soft boobs and hard strength

17 Jun

My new friend wrote to me with an epiphany tonight.

Let me just preface this with a statement: it’s amazing what you can easily forget ever existed.

So what was the epiphany?
Soft boobs.

My new friend came through surgery with flying colors …and softer boobs. The implants have replaced the expanders and along with that is a new softness. I’m next in line of course and tonight I couldn’t help but think how foreign that word sounds.


You see these expanders feel like rubber. They look like rubber. They are hard. So hard in fact, Justin said “I think we could bounce a quarter of of those things.”

I haven’t tried but I’m sure it’s possible.

I suppose it’s a good analogy of this journey. You have to harden in some places before you can soften. Namely, you harden in your gut, and all the places you hold your resolve, your strength, your hope, your determination.

Then, somehow, inch by inch you step over, or rather, bounce like rubber to the other side. And that’s where I think there is softness. Softness in making the journey, stepping through the fear, swimming in new waters. It is in fact where the heart softens as it reflects from the inside out and knows deep down inside that there is more. There is more here.

I’m so happy for my new, softer friend. She has officially crossed the divide and landed safely — and softly — on the other side of the mastectomy journey.

As for me, for now, my rubber duckies are just fine. But I look forward to stepping over the rainbow to softer days ahead.


More tomorrow.

{what are you looking forward to?}
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