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Jamie’s BLOG – DAY 199 :: unveiling my new….

18 Jul

I have the privilege of working/dreaming/creating/marketing/building really cool things with amazing women. I like to think of it as Marketing From The Heart.

And today I was THRILLED to receive a little love in the mail from some women who are doing just that — creating from the heart by making yoga clothing the fits real women.

Here’s one of my new Ena Yoga Apparel outfits!

It was really hard to capture this selfie and get the Eva Tank Top and Maya bootie shorts all in one pic. But I did it, just to show that real women with real curves can wear yoga clothes too.

That’s right! I have real curves now — new “tatas” are on the way. One week and counting to my surgery/implant exchange which will officially cap off the mastectomy/reconstructive process. And while the girls don’t “look” that big in this photo, believe me, they are bigger than they have ever been.

They also feel hard as plastic right now. It’s the expanders. They are FULL and filled with saline, and thank goodness because they have created the space needed for the new implants.

But they are hard. So hard I woke up in a sleepy half dreaming/half awake state this week and felt a plastic dog toy in my bed. As I cupped my hand around the dog toy I thought, “How did this get into my bed?”

Then I woke up and realized it was my breast — or the expander currently playing the role of my left tata.

We had a good laugh over it — and thank goodness there is no squeaky toy included in this process.

But it has been an interesting process, this DCIS diagnosis. There’s so much I have learned. For one — I now must order a size up! (Thus, my new Ena Yoga Apparel clothing.) For someone who has been a flat chested athlete most of her life, this is a new world.

But, for someone who has also been a breast cancer advocate for most of her adulthood (God Bless you Mama Sling!) I am learning something else.

I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to be a warrior. I don’t want to run from or against anything.

Instead, I choose to soak in Beauty and Love.

If you’ve been around her for a while you know my new mantra – Enjoy Simple Beauty, Pause Right Now.

It’s a both a reminder and a mantra. A way to make sense of the amazing accomplishments that come with peak performance as well as the surprises, or twists and turns that knock on the door in the middle of the night, and the things that happen while you are out making other plans (or in the middle of a fertility appointment where your doctor announces you have a lump in your breast).

So on this Friday Night I announce I am giving up the fight. Instead I embrace beauty and love because life is beautiful. We should live while we are alive, we should love while our hearts beat.

And while we are alive we should work/dream/create/market/build/share/do really cool things with amazing people that bring out our best strengths, celebrate our talents and inspire others to do the same.

(That might be worth a pause!)


More tomorrow.

{what strength can you celebrate?}
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