JAMIE’S BLOG – DAY 361 :: it’s not a hard knock life

27 Dec

You’re never fully dressed without a smile.

It’s good advice from a ten-year-old. And tonight as we bounced in our seats to the suite of songs from Annie (the reprise) which as much as I loved it just couldn’t come close to the original, I couldn’t help the singing in my head.

And then singing out loud after the movie.
And then singing in the kitchen when we arrived home.
And then singing in the bathroom.
And on and on and on…

It’s a hard knock life for us. It’s a hard knock life for us!

I think about all the hard knocks I’ve had in this year of peak performance. A surprise diagnosis on my way to a fertility check-up that led me down a path very far away from the pregnancy one I thought I was taking. Then two surgeries that wiped out my former understanding of fear. On to three saline fills that stretched the skin on my chest and my pain tolerance. And, of course, all the real life moments that happened in between. (And the ones that didn’t, like the laundry. It’s always the first thing to go!)

It’s a hard knock life for us. 
And yet, it SO isn’t.

If my OB didn’t find that lump, they wouldn’t have found the calcifications. The lump was nothing. The calcification was DCIS.

If the radiologist had not detected the DCIS I wouldn’t have called the surgeon. If the first surgeon’s office had called me back in time I wouldn’t have freaked out and called my thyroid surgeon, who led me to my breast surgeon. If I hadn’t talked to my new breast surgeon who had other patients with my same background and medical history, I wouldn’t have been advised to have a double mastectomy (what???!!!).

And if I didn’t have the double mastectomy they would’t have found the DCIS cells on the right side too, which were undetected by all technology imaginable, and three times larger based on the final pathology.

I’m a lucky girl.

And of course, it’s easy to say now, with hindsight, looking back and seeing the big, beautiful thread that ties every single life moment together. Including the new bras I received today from Macy’s (thank you Jaynane for the early birthday gift!). Buying bras has never been so complicated (turns out a 32DD is pretty hard to find and yet, never so much fun. Not since my Mama Sling took me shopping for my first bras have I had the motherly help, like today where Jaynane went on the hunt and kept handing me a plethora of bras over the top of the changing room door.

As I tried on every single style in the Macy’s lingerie collection, it struck me that the moment was more than special. My other Mama, Jaynane, has picked up where my Mama Sling left off. Because no matter what age you are you’re never fully dressed without a smile… and a great fitting bra!

So it’s from sitting here where I can sing, it’s NOT a hard knock life.
It’s a mysteriously amazing beyond belief life.
You just have to wait the hard knocks out.

Because it’s nice to be on the other side.
And…. I think I’m gonna like it here.

More tomorrow. 


 {how are you lucky?}

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