Tag Archives: Alive

JAMIE’S BLOG – YEAR 9 – DAY 317 :: life is beautiful – 48 days to go

13 Nov


{trust}  

There are 48 days left of The Promise 365!  Tonight I celebrate one of the most poignant lessons I have learned in this blogging adventure. It is simple and clear: focus on the beauty. 

I began working with a “Medicine Woman” after I spoke to all the doctors who recommended surgery. My medicine woman came into my life at the most perfect moment and precisely when I needed her most. She helped me prepare emotionally and spiritually for my upcoming surgeries but mostly she helped me “Focus on the beauty.”

In fact, it was her prescription for me to get through all three surgeries. So every single day I searched for beauty. I watched flowers bloom. I spotted puppies walking down the street. I planted a garden and gasped in awe at how a little purple flower turned into an eggplant.

I lived in awe of everything. Beauty was alive, I just needed to look for it. 

Focusing on the beauty did wonders for the ugliness in my life. It took my mind off of my worries. It redirected my energy. It reminded me that I was indeed alive, a creature of beauty, boldness and big things to do in this lifetime. It also introduced me to an entire ecosystem that I was completely ignorant about…one called Mother Nature.

That was years ago now, but the lessons of beauty have stayed with me. Every time I see a flower bloom, or a leaf pop, or a bird fly above my head, I am reminded that I am alive.

And life is beautiful. 

Trust me!
More tomorrow.Jamie

{trust}
#lovemore

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JAMIE’S BLOG – DAY 190 :: just one day

14 Jul

So much can happen in one day. I am reminded of it in so many ways, but today, nothing was more obvious than this flower.


This was yesterday:

And this is today:

It’s gone. Just like that.

And it’s such a simple reminder to live while I’m alive. To play. To have fun. To get it while the getting is good.

To be blissful while we have the moment.
Right now.

More tomorrow.

Lovemore, 
Jamie
  {alive?}
#lovemoredomore

Jamie’s BLOG – DAY 211 :: a reason to cry

30 Jul

I’m a little fragile these days. Emotionally speaking. Which pretty much boils down to this: I cry at everything that is beautiful. Or sad. Or happy.

I’ve inherited the cry gene. Or, it is now just full-on expressing itself. Which makes sense since my body has been through much. While I have used every tool of the trade and every trick in the book to stay emotionally sound and focused on a healthy recovery, I still cry. While I don’t cry at everything, I do cry at that which touches my soul. It’s like my own personal power can’t win out over the power of beauty. I can’t stop the flood of tears that beauty commands.

And maybe that is because I am staying emotionally focused. Which makes me more sensitive. With every stitch of pain I am reminded that I am alive. And that is overwhelming beautiful at times.

So when Justin shared this video with me, I lost it. I sobbed. I felt like I could watch the tears run down my own face.

So I’m sharing it with you.
I dare you not to tear up, even just a little bit.

After-all, you are a-live. And that’s pretty beautiful.

More tomorrow.
Lovemore,
Jamie

 

{what makes you cry?}

GIFT DAY 063: do you love your scars?

4 Mar

I have an abundance of scars.

Like the scar that runs down the center of my belly and the scars on both of my knees. There are scars on my hand and calf too.

They each have a story.
All lessons in courage, strength and faith.

The scar on my belly came from a cancer diagnosis. It taught me abut healing and gave me faith in life. I used to pull my shirt up and share my belly scar with strangers. I was so proud of it, as if it were bragging rights.

The scars on my knees came from a sand volleyball court. They remind me to go after my dreams and take a leap even if it means digging in deep.

The scars on my hands taught me all about puppy love. And, the scar on my calf, well …it taught me about how to avoid the kind of dogs who bite.

Justin is working on a new scar.
scars, justin, jamie eslinger, thepromisedaily.com, thepromise365.com

The initial wound came from an unfortunate bounce from that pink buoy that washed ashore the other day. It bounced right up and hit him in the eye.

Who knew that those things have hard handles that attack?

(Good thing we have a few Keep Calm and Carry On bandages in stock!)

His eye will heal.
But just like my scars, only the story will remain. Which is the best part of a scar anyway — bragging rights!

I love my scars.
But the ones I love the most are the ones I cannot see.

They are the scars on my heart and inside my soul. The ones that healed through an abundance of love, prayer, reflection, time and faith.

The scars we can’t see are the ones we remember most. They are the stuff heroes are made of and the ones worth living for.

And, I think, they are the scars that make us truly beautiful — and alive.
Oh yeah… and those bragging rights too.

More tomorrow.
Lovemore,
Jamie

{Do you have scars your proud of? Do share in the comments section below.}


You Can Do Anything

I fundamentally believe we can do anything. YOU can do anything. But, time is running out if you want to join me in the process!

Registration for YCDA 2013 coaching group ends March 11 at midnight. If you want hands-on support for your promise, group encouragement, and a bigger commitment to stick to your goals, just click here!

xo~Jamie

Day 268: have a theme song? (REPRISE)

25 Sep

I had a profoundly wonderful conversation with a friend today that made me remember this blog post from last year. So, I opted to republish tonight because I think it is significant.

This one’s for you my dear…believe in yourself.
xo~Jamie

———————————————————–

On Day 149 I wrote about how I held on to this blog for one more day after seeing the movie Bridesmaids and it’s absolutely 80’s theme song Hold On by Wilson Phillips.

Later, Cheryl posted a fantabulous question:

My question to you is: if you had to pick ONE song as your THEME song, what would it be?’

Now, that’s a great question, especially during this year and through the course of The Promise 365.  So great, I am dedicating an entire blog post to it.  So, thank you Cheryl, from the bottom of my heart.

Here we go…

Before I share my theme song, I want to share what I think about theme songs ~ I believe in them.  I always have one.

I blame Whitney Houston.
If it weren’t for Whit, I wouldn’t have started my love affair with theme songs.

You see it all began at a 6th grade slumber party.

It occurred during a lip-sync competition in my friend’s living room.  My song was Greatest Love of All and I was stage ready, with hair brush in hand and collar turned up I stole the shag carpet living room stage with wood paneling backdrop.  I practically had the audience (five other 12 year-old girls) crying by the time I was done with that little number.

At least that’s what I remember.  I put my heart and soul into it.
And, yes, that may be right about the time I realized not everyone sings into their hair brush microphone in front of the bathroom mirror and bright vanity lights at night.

But, I won the lip-sync competition and was properly rewarded with a bag of Doritos and a movie we watched on a “VCR” ~ have I properly dated myself yet?

That was circa 1986, but it doesn’t stop there.

Zoom forward to 1991, a first kiss, a first fall for love and a first really bad choice in theme song.  Justin came into my life right about the time Paula Abdul came on the national scene.  Which explains why our first song will forever be remembered as Rush, Rush ~ one we couldn’t rush fast enough to regret (the song, not the first kiss!).

There was my high school senior song, Right Here, Right Now by Jesus Jones.  That was 1992 and it came into my life following my diagnosis of cancer and months of treatment followed by the hoopla of graduation, college acceptance, and a new frontier I was grateful to explore, leaving the IV’s, radiation and surgery behind.

(As a side note, the rest of my graduating class voted for Joker, by Steve Miller Band).

Five years later, after college and dating and break-ups and the craziness of trying to grow up, I celebrated my 5 year remission mark by renting out a bar and throwing a party in Washington D.C. with all my brand new co-workers who had known me for all of five minutes.  There’s nothing like meeting someone for the first time with an intro of:  “Hi, I’m Jamie. I had cancer, want to come to my remission party?”

It worked, the bar was packed.  I hired a band and they brought another band to open for them.  And they played my theme song.  What was it?  Alive.  It was the “I’m still alive” part that got me drunk, singing at the top of my lungs.  Hey, I was 22 years old.

A few years later I experienced the first deep loss of my life.

It was also the moment that I had my first encounter with a mystical force that is beyond words.  My mother passed away after a long battle with breast cancer.

On the night she died, I was over 1,000 miles away from her in Ann Arbor, Michigan.  In the middle of the night, I woke up and bolted straight up in bed.  I looked at the clock and stared with confusion until I fell back asleep.  I later found out that was the exact time of my mother’s death.  Shortly after her funeral this song found me, 1000 Miles by Vanessa Carlton.  In fact, it still finds me, at the most appropriate times.

There were many happy years with lots of happy songs, jobs, condos, marriage, until of course there wasn’t.  Disaster struck.

I left my home, my marriage and my life all in one night. 
That’s another story for another day, but my theme song got me through it.  Whenever Pink came on the radio belting out So What I turned up the volume and screamed from the top of my lungs.  I did that for two years until the divorce papers came through signed, sealed, and delivered.

And, that pretty much brings us full circle, which brings this little story back to Justin.

We reconnected on Facebook, of all places, fifteen years after that first kiss.  Well, you can’t blame us for “rushing” into anything.  You could say we took our time or maybe held our breathe, or a little of both.  Either way, Just Breathe by Pearl Jam played in our hearts and minds as we moved to a little island off Cape Cod to figure it all out.

And, now, to answer Cheryl’s question. 
My current theme song of 2011 for this Promise of 365 Days is….

Drum-roll please.

I could have chosen Raise Your Glass or Firework or so many more.  But here’s where I landed, for a year of focusing on my head, heart, body & soul:

Believe In Yourself by Brad.

Because, I believe you can do anything…
If you believe in yourself
.

I would love to hear some of your theme songs.
xo ~Jamie

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