Tag Archives: breathe

JAMIE’S BLOG – YEAR 8 – DAY 39 :: oh joy

10 Feb
{breathing}

I am laughing at myself tonight.

It seems that my promise of “joy” has me experiencing the opposite. Well, maybe not the opposite… wherever you would place stress on the joy scale – that’s where I was today. Mostly because I was not in control.

Control is a funny thing. In some ways, I think total control over all circumstances is very joyful. And then, in so many other ways, I know that total control is my blind spot. The place where I don’t see what’s best because I’m trying to see only what I want to see.

And that’s when I have to remember to breathe.  

Sometimes the best choice is just to breathe. In and out. And if I can remember to do that, I think I can stay in that joyful place where I want to be.

This is coming from the woman who was voted “most likely to be happy in a nuclear holocaust.” True story. It was college. And that’s the award I won. Label bestowed upon me by my peers of course.

In general, and on most days, I live up to that label. That’s how I have survived cancer three times with a smile on my face. I have racked up a lot of life lessons that way. I am the queen of positive perseverance.

So, why is it that sometimes the little, every day, minutia of things can throw me into a tailspin? I don’t know. But I think it has something to do with control — and expectations.

I expect to control my everyday events. I don’t expect to control major life-altering situations. Those, I leave up to God, The Goddess, The Universe and all her magic combined.

But, you know…The last roll of toilet paper! …The car breaking down! …The dog getting up at 4 am to use the bathroom! Well…. those things still have my number. They get my goat. They ring my bell.

Ah, joy. I know you have a lesson in here for me. It’s coming. I can feel it. Bring it on.

Until then…
I breathe.
In. And out.
And, I admit – there is joy in that.

More tomorrow…

Lovemore,
Jamie

{breathe}
#lovemore

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JAMIE’S BLOG – YEAR 6 – YOGA DAY 36 :: behold

5 Feb

Day 36. Behold.

My new favorite word. Behold.

Behold!  It’s been going through my mind for days now. Be. Hold. Be. Hold. Be. Hold.

As in… Be… breathe…be here now.
And hold…as in…receive…welcome….enjoy.

It’s as beautiful as breathing.
Breathe In.
Breathe Out.

It’s something we do automatically. Everyday. All the time. In our SLEEP! That’s pretty amazing if you stop and think about it. Behold it.

Be. Hold.
Tonight as I did my yoga and wrung out the rest of the week, let go of the hard, stressful, unpleasant, unuseful, unnecessary, I thought of the word Behold again.

It’s like the word is whispering to me. Be in this moment. Welcome the next. Rinse. Repeat. Do it again. Be. Hold.

So my dears…Happy Friday….what are you beholding?

More tomorrow. 
Lovemore,
Jamie

{beholding?}
#lovemoredomore

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JAMIE’S BLOG – DAY 100 :: milestones and trips around the sun

13 Apr

It’s Day 100. A milestone in the year of Two Thousand Fifteen. Bliss is my promise this year, and while I’m not sure if I’ve had any major breakthroughs yet, I can say this: I do have perspective.

Today I connected with a dear friend who was just diagnosed with breast cancer. It was more than a surprise. So in her honor, tonight, I am republishing this blog post from a year ago: Secrets for a Successful Surgery

This month marks my trip around the sun since that mastectomy. Hard to believe. Happy to be here. Hoping this post helps others.

More than anything else in this past year I have been grasping step by step a deeper understanding of love. And in more ways than one that means letting go of fear. Ridding my life of it completely, focusing solely on the love.

That’s why I have changed my mantra from Lovemore Fearless to Love More Do More. But it’s still a process. I catch myself now and then with a lump of fear in my throat and in that moment I try to remind myself to breathe, to let in the love, to show up to that very moment with even more love in my heart.

I recently received a note from another dear friend of mine. In it he wrote something so poetic I think it’s worth sharing:

Can you love yourself no matter what your future holds? In other words can you love yourself as you are right now? And now? And now? String enough of those nows together and you’ll be a happy camper “Come rain or come shine,” as Marlene Dietrich sang.

So here’s to the love.
And happy campers.
And many more trips around the sun!

More tomorrow.
Lovemore,
Jamie

  {how can you share some love today}
#lovemoredomore

2014 BLOG – DAY 64 :: just breathe

5 Mar

My coping mechanism is humor. In the presence of doctors I make jokes. It’s how I “deal.”

So today, while my breasts were being smashed between little plastic plates and then gooped up with ultrasound juice I suggested the imaging center offer margaritas instead of coffee.

It was a joke.
But I was totally serious.

I had an epiphany yesterday to avoid all the painful smashing of the the breasts.

My plan? Just get drunk.

Sure, it would be a mental escape. But it would also be helpful! It would be so much easier for the tech to maneuver my boobies if my body was more limber, flexible, and inebriated.

As it was, it felt like I was in a sick form of a Twister game. Or a really bad golf lesson. Put your shoulder down. Head up. Ear to the side. Grab onto the top of the machine. Now step toward me. Take a deep breath and hold it.

Of course I didn’t get drunk, but wouldn’t it be so much easier to contort your body if you were completely relaxed?  So I made the official suggestion that they offer margaritas (plus pedicures in the future too!).

After making it through the mammogram olympics I headed on over to the ultrasound table. After being slimed, propped up on one side with arm pointing in the air I decided to try something else.

I used a meditation technique: breathing.
Breathe in. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Hold. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Let it out. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

I repeated it over an over in my head as the tech slid all over my breast with her little computer mouse.

Breathe in. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Hold. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,8, 9, 10
Let it out. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,8, 9, 10

It wasn’t as great as a margarita. And it didn’t make me loopy or otherwise black out. But it did help.

The good news is that the lump doesn’t register on the mammogram. But there was a spot of calcifications that will have a further look and biopsy.

The best part is, I made it through.
And, that is peak performance if you ask me.

Cheers. Clink! Clink!

More tomorrow.
Lovemore {fearless}
Jamie

{you can do anything}

Day 363: the wrap up part 3 :: body

29 Dec

Here we are, closing in on 365 days and the end of this year.  And, what a year it has been.

So much has changed in my world, in this year, that I am dedicating a full day to each of my promises: head, heart, body and soul.

Because if I have learned anything this year, it is this: the magic is in reflection.

Part 3:  body

What does it mean to take care of the body?

As my new friend Belleruth Naparstek reminds me in one of her amazing guided meditations, our body is our “oldest friend” and “steadiest companion.”

And I like that.
Because I never thought of my body in a confidant sort of way.  At least not until this promise.

To the contrary, I spent too many years scrutinizing the shape of my hips, the size of my toes, the stubby-ness of my thumbs, the arc of my belly.  After my cancer treatments I wished for my long thick locks to return, just like after I turned thirty I wished for my dimply cheeks to return to their twenty-something smoothness.

But this is a journey isn’t it, with the body in the lead.

Through the ups and downs of life’s heavy weights and other losses it seems my body has been with me all along.  Right there alongside me, every step of the way.

And it wasn’t until this promise came along that I started to give my body its due.  Seems almost silly to me now that I failed to invest in it.

It has indeed been a year of self-care.

Some of my adventures in self-care brought my body through totally new experiences, like bodywork, chakra massage, an Avyvedic cleanse and meditation.

Others have just reminded me how great it feels to give nourishment to the skin I’m in, like hot rock massages and pedicures.

More than anything I have relied on my night-time bath. 

A nocturnal ritual that lifts my spirits and comforts my body no matter what the rest of the world may be contemplating.  We may be at war, or in economic crisis or fiercely debating the next election — but it just doesn’t matter when I am in my bathwater.

One of the best pieces of advice I heard over this year-long promise to take care of my body was quite simply ironic — do nothing.

That’s right.  DO. NOTHING.

It comes from traditional Chinese medicine and I have come to hear those words echo through my mind when cerebral buttons begin to be pushed and that other voice in my head starts telling my body to do more, be more, try more.

It’s almost too easy isn’t it?

Do nothing.
Of course, it doesn’t mean eat bonbons and down six packs while watching television with Ben and Jerry.

It means, literally stop and do nothing but let your body breathe.

Sure, the massage and yoga and Pilates and hiking have all been invigorating, adventurous and new.  But, all these exercises ended up bringing me back to a place of peace that opened up a space where I could do something extraordinary with my body — breathe.

I guess what I’m trying to say is this: it’s ironic after all the searching, and the classes and the adventures that I am right back in the place where my body first started.

Taking one deep breath.
And then another.


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