Day 18 over here….of the 30-Day Gratitude Challenge.
What are you grateful for today?
My new hobby is tracking my pH balance. Yesterday I was dark yellow. Today I am closer to green. Green is good! The pH has gone up past 7.0 according to my pH sticks which is more alkaline. And that’s good — the lemons in my water must be doing their job.

Lovemore Fearless!
That’s my mantra. And today, well… I cried my eyes out with a lot of fear and then love and then fear and then some more love.
I showed up for my thyroid ultrasound early, after mustering up all the courage my bright smile could handle.
(Did I tell you I was once voted Most Likely To Be Happy In A Nuclear Holocaust? True story. I was in college. And, today, I felt so very not myself.)
While laying on the radiology table I sent consistent messages of love and joy to every fiber of my body. I joked around with the radiologist. We plotted a plan for the hospital to offer foot massages and salt scrubs…. and then…
I sat in the nurse’s chair to have my blood drawn. As soon as she pulled out the fist full of viles my stomach turned.
There were more than ten plastic viles sitting on the table below. Before the needle even appeared my eyes began watering.
“Are you okay?” The nurse asked me.
“I might pass out,” I tried to joke but I couldn’t stop the tears.
“Do you want to lay down?” She asked.
“It’s not physical,” I tried to explain. “It’s emotional.”
The procedure began. The needle poked. The nurse stopped.
“Are you holding your breath?” she asked me.
“Maybe?” I answered, not sure if I was still breathing.
“Don’t hold your breath, or you will pass out.” She smiled.
I sat there with streams running down my face, wondering, “Why am I crying.”
And that’s when the answer hit me. “I’m scared.”
That’s the funky, funny, not so ironic thing about f*Ing fear. It usually sneaks up from behind, catches you off-guard when you least expect it. In public no less. With a needle jammed up your arm and ten plastic viles being filled red.
So what did I do?
I let the tears fall. Facing my fear, in living color, crying out loud, on the spot.
And I prefer to call it courage.
So, today I am grateful for:
1) Making lemons into pH lemonade
2) Tears
3) Courage
What are you grateful for?
More tomorrow.
Lovemore (fearless),
Jamie
{Your turn! Share what you’re grateful for in the comments section below. Courage.}
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Tags: courage, doctor, fear, love, lovemore+fearless, tears