Tag Archives: found

JAMIE’S BLOG – YEAR 9 – DAY 156 :: trust the road you’re on

5 Jun


I got lost tonight. I was on my way to an event that should have been easy to find. Except it wasn’t. My GPS kept sending me to roads that were gated off and then rerouting my car to another road that was gated off.

I finally gave up, frustrated, hungry and annoyed.

Here’s the funny thing about giving up. Sometimes it leads you to a better place. For me, that was a nice quiet dinner at a restaurant. A surprise moment by myself for myself, instead of a professional event for others. Maybe those gates were a sign for me to try a new path, or a new plate. 

So tonight, trust is telling me to take a bite into the juiciest expression of life. Even if it is a surprise date night with myself after getting lost on the road to find somewhere new.

Trust me!

More tomorrow.


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Day 98: f*ing friday :: found

8 Apr

Today continues the weekly series, F*ing Fridays, which will coincidentally occur on Friday. I mentioned some of my favorite F words back on Day 5, including: Fearless, Fabulous, Fine, Fun, Faith, Freedom, Forgiveness, to name a Few.

Last week I dove into the word Flight

Today’s F*ing Friday is dedicated to the word:

As in, Lost and Found.

Yesterday, I emerged from the shower, still dripping wet with towel as head wrap.  As I walked into the bedroom I saw something shiny, sparkling up at me from the carpet.

A quarter?  No.
A button? No.

It was a key.
A round, flat, nubby, little key.
What could that be for, I wondered?

I announced my discovery to Justin.
“Look Justin! I Found a key!”
A what?

“A key!”
For what?

“I have no idea.”

And, I didn’t. I turned it over and over in my fingers trying to figure out just what this unlocked.

Justin figured out it was a perfect fit for my jewelry box. The same cedar jewelry box that has been stashed in the closet upon our arrival in Naples, because why?  I couldn’t find the key.

Here’s the strange thing …
I have no idea how the key got on the floor, in the bedroom, in the middle of the carpet. It’s been months since we unpacked and the jewelry box has never been in the bedroom. I personally took the key-less box straight to the closet for storage on move-in day in hopes that I would either find the key or find a way to pry it open someday.

I have been racking my brain since I spotted it.
How did the key get there?

It is quite perplexing.

I am so thankful to have the key back and access to my jewelry box — which holds among a few precious stones, some pearls of wisdom.

Three letters are from Justin to me, back when we first met, when we were 17 years old.

They are letters from a high school boy to girl.
They are the love notes of a first kiss. They are the innocent words of teenage hearts, right before we were both crushed with my diagnosis of cancer and our world spun into all things medical, and soon after that a journey to college, and then for the grand finale break-up of them all ~ long distance.

I found these love notes in a box at my dad’s house 15 years later, and right about a year before my divorce.  My dad had saved the box full of trinkets and objects of my youth and I was instructed to go through it, take what I wanted, the rest would be thrown away.

Here’s the funny thing: I threw away all my trophies, my basketball awards, the letters of encouragement my teachers and friends gave to me when I was known as “the cancer girl”  …but I kept one thing.  The letters.

They were too sweet, too innocent and too meaningful to throw away.  I justified it by telling myself they were precious because you only have a first love one time, right!?

Turns out, I was wrong.
My first love has found me twice.

I’m so thankful this little key showed up on the floor, bright and shiny, calling my name.

It unlocked my heart one more time today as I read the other letters in the box.
The notes were from my mother, the ones she wrote to me while I was in college.

My favorite letter from her ends with this:

“Keep your gorgeous smile, it’ll go forever.
Love, Mom”

Ten years after her death, those words mean more to me now than they ever could have then.

My mother’s love has never been lost,
but seeing her handwriting again feels like she is found.

Which is good for my heart and soul.
And, it makes me wonder
just who placed that key right in front of my nose?

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