Tag Archives: hope

JAMIE’S BLOG – YEAR 8 – DAY 78 :: why not?

21 Mar

Justin arrived home early today and surprised me with a golf outing. It was a beautiful afternoon and so I said… why not?

I’m wondering why I don’t say that more often? Why not?  

Why not now? Why not today?

Love, Hope & Joy are all meant to be shared, in the now.
So… why not?

More tomorrow…


{why not?}

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JAMIE’S BLOG – YEAR 8 – DAY 65 :: the joy of womanhood

8 Mar
{femme forward}

Happy International Women’s Day. 

What joy it is to be a woman. It’s also full of hormonal highs and lows, the most excruciating heartbreaks and incredibly heartwarming moments the world could ever offer. There are days of intuitiveness and powerful conquering of mountains and molehills and everything in between.

Everyone’s experience is unique and different. And yet, it’s a huge circle of so many interrelated things.

And it’s so worth the ride. What joy it is to be a woman.

More tomorrow…


{embrace the joy}

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JAMIE’S BLOG – YEAR 7 – KINDNESS  DAY 351 :: christmas kindness

18 Dec
{rock star}

Today I continue the month of Christmas Kindness!

Last night, after spending days upon days in bed, I finally surfaced. I crawled out of that protective cocoon and faced the light of day. And the fact that I ran out of Gilmore Girls episodes…

Amidst it all, I also felt something new… Aches. All. Over. My body, bless its heart and soul, was done with being sick but still had some healing to do. I could barely move my shoulders with all the aches and pains and finally asked Justin if we had a heating pad… or something that could act like a heating pad. He’s good at finding things so whenever I need something I have learned to ask. To put Justin on the task.

He thought about it for a while and then, just when I thought he had forgotten he walked outside. In the mud and rain mind you. When he returned inside he had his hands full of rocks.

“What are those for?” I asked.
“For your back. I’m going to heat them up, like a hot rock massage.” He replied matter of factly.

Oh… My…  Love… he had me at hot rock massage. My most favorite spa treatment in the world. But could we do it at home?

Turns out, the answer is yes! Justin washed and heated the rocks and then placed them on my back. And then heated them up again for a second round. They weren’t perfect like the rocks I have had in spas … but it was perfectly timed.

It was so gloriously relaxing.
And he is so amazingly kind. A rock star in my book.

It’s times like these when I realize that for all the KINDNESS I have been trying to infuse into my life and others this year, all I really needed to do was open my eyes. Sometimes being kind is remembering to ask for help.

Because the helpers will show up.
Sometimes with rocks in their hands.

More tomorrow…



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JAMIE’S BLOG – DAY 259 :: winning a million dollars

16 Sep

In a rare quiet moment I am watching people compete for a million dollars. It’s America’s Got Talent and I am mesmerized by the peak performances.

They are amazing to say the least. Ahhhhhmazing.

It has me reflecting about passion and clarity and goals.  Having goals is one thing. Having the clarity about what it will take to go after your goals is another. But having a passion that leads to performances like these, well it’s just awe-inspiring.

I mean seriously, one contestant is twelve years old!!?

But I think more than anything each performance is a moment of hope. As one contestant just said, “dream do come true.”

And that’s worth a million dollars.

More tomorrow.


 {dream a little dream}

Jamie’s BLOG – DAY 169 :: rubber duckies, soft boobs and hard strength

17 Jun

My new friend wrote to me with an epiphany tonight.

Let me just preface this with a statement: it’s amazing what you can easily forget ever existed.

So what was the epiphany?
Soft boobs.

My new friend came through surgery with flying colors …and softer boobs. The implants have replaced the expanders and along with that is a new softness. I’m next in line of course and tonight I couldn’t help but think how foreign that word sounds.


You see these expanders feel like rubber. They look like rubber. They are hard. So hard in fact, Justin said “I think we could bounce a quarter of of those things.”

I haven’t tried but I’m sure it’s possible.

I suppose it’s a good analogy of this journey. You have to harden in some places before you can soften. Namely, you harden in your gut, and all the places you hold your resolve, your strength, your hope, your determination.

Then, somehow, inch by inch you step over, or rather, bounce like rubber to the other side. And that’s where I think there is softness. Softness in making the journey, stepping through the fear, swimming in new waters. It is in fact where the heart softens as it reflects from the inside out and knows deep down inside that there is more. There is more here.

I’m so happy for my new, softer friend. She has officially crossed the divide and landed safely — and softly — on the other side of the mastectomy journey.

As for me, for now, my rubber duckies are just fine. But I look forward to stepping over the rainbow to softer days ahead.


More tomorrow.

{what are you looking forward to?}

Jamie’s BLOG – DAY 126 :: pop, pop, poppies!

7 May

Today’s spot of beauty popped right in front of me today. On a walk.

Actually, it was pointed out to me. I didn’t know poppies could be yellow. I always think of poppies as bright red.

So I was surprised when Jaynane pointed out these poppies on our walk.

Yellow has always been my favorite color. Sure, I’ve fallen in love with pink and turquoise and even a black phase (I’m a marketing girl, it happens to all of us!). But YELLOW has always been my true color love.

It’s the color of happiness, optimism, and hope. Long live the power of yellow.

More tomorrow.

{what is your color?}

2014 BLOG – DAY 58 :: lean in or opt out?

27 Feb

So there are days and then there are days. And, today, well has been one of those days.

My annual OB appointment.

I was actually delighted to go to the doctor today. Just approaching the women’s center made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It was beautiful. Like a spa. All tranquil with waterfalls and pretty landscaping. Ahhhhhh.

I made a pact with myself that this would be the start of a whole new experience with me and doctors and appointments since my track record hasn’t been so good.

I instantly loved my new doctor. She seemed to be close to my age. She was fun to talk to. She gave me a list of the best restaurants in town. I almost asked her on the spot if she wanted to be friends. Since I can use some new friends in this new town that we live in. But that seemed a little unprofessional, or at least a little too forward as I sat with my feet in stirrups stripped down to my skivvies.

Then, she dropped the bomb. As she did the annual breast exam she found a lump.

“What???” I shrieked. It felt like a cruel joke.

“Don’t panic.” She said. “No panicking. I can move it around. That’s a good sign. I’m not concerned.” She talked me off the pretty, pretty walls of the exam room.

Right. Breathe. No panicking. I’m not panicking. Wait. I am panicking. My thighs started sweating. My head started spinning. I didn’t even feel the pelvic exam. Because I was panicking.

Because this was supposed to be my new start. My GOOD appointment.

Since then, the mamo has been scheduled. My heart rate has done somersaults. I have calmed down and now I wait.

It’s a funny thing, this living in a woman’s body. The hormones. The cycles. The thyroids. The breasts. Why can’t they all just get along?

And then I remembered my promise of peak performance. And I remind myself that this is what I’m good at: staying the course, perseverance, surviving, moving through, day by day.

As I sit here tonight, I think of the latest woman power mantra of “Lean In” and I realize that all I want to do is “Opt Out.” I want to just wish this away. I want it to quietly retreat, disappear and disintegrate. I want to opt out of the panic, the worry, the stress.

So I vow not to panic. It’s useless anyway.
Besides, the doctor isn’t worried.

I toyed with not even writing about this, because hey, that would be one way to opt out. But then I had an epiphany. Or, at least a slap across the breast sort of reminder.

I am not the only one. This is bigger than me and my two boobies. It’s something we all get to share, in the this thing called womanhood.

As I reflect tonight, my only regret is this:
I should have asked her to be my friend.

I’m guessing I will have another opportunity.
Until then, no panicking.
Doctors orders.

More tomorrow.
Lovemore {fearless}

{how was your day?}

2014 BLOG – DAY 24 thyroid scars unite!

24 Jan

The power of sharing. 

Tonight I realized that sometimes peak performance comes down to realizing you can do it — because others have done it before.

Sometimes the confidence it takes to perform comes down to knowing there are others who totally understand where you’ve been, what you are going through, and share what the road ahead looks like.

I had a glimpse of that tonight in Portland. We painted a mural in honor of thyroid awareness. But it was more like painting a picture of that “road ahead” for me.

It was a reunion with my fabulous surgeon, Dr. Mira Milas!
It was an amazing event with Joni from Bottle & Bottega Portland!
And it was an introduction to another thyroid patient and survivor Katee Sackhoff.

The night consisted of comparing and showing off our scars:


Making a small contribution:

And seeing the big picture come toghether:

Here’s the most important lesson for me — recognizing all the beautiful, amazing, incredible pieces it takes to make up the whole.

And getting a little boost from someone who has been in this game a little longer than I have.
There’s hope in that.
Seeing is believing.

More tomorrow.
Lovemore {fearless}

{what gives you hope?}
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