What are you afraid of?
I’ve done so much over here to get over my fears (if you’ve been around here for a while you already know the long drawn out story… swimming in the ocean, gardening with spiders, surgery!).
I have a new fear to add to that list.
Phantom Spiders.
As in the large, black, creepy spider that only shows up in the kitchen when no one else is home or looking — but me. Justin thinks I’m making it up. He thinks it’s my imaginary friend. Possibly from spending too much time alone at home in my office staring at my computer screen.
But I know it’s real.
I saw it yesterday crawling on the ceiling. I considered getting out the vacuum to suck it up but then decided against it. Mostly because I made a pact with Justin (and karma) not to kill any more spiders.
Then, last night, just as I let the dogs out for their last run before bed I spotted it. In the corner of the kitchen.
As if it’s taunting me. Teasing me from afar. And, really, I prefer it that way. Far, far, away.
I have looked for the spider all day to no avail. Every time I open a cupboard I wince. Every time I reach for a dog treat (which we have to keep on top of the refrigerator so you know who doesn’t eat the entire box) I brace myself.
I’ve come a long way in this spider thing. But I am still amazed at how much fear they instill in me – instantaneously.
So I did some searching.
According to one source, spiders can represent many things, including:
- Patience
- Receptivity
- Feminine energy
- Creativity
- Weaver of life’s fate
- Shadow self, dark aspects of life or personality
It has me stopping and thinking. (Patience?)
Maybe this spider is only showing itself to me because it has a message? Maybe it wants me, and me alone, to figure out something creative, or feminine, or weave my fate for this promise of peak performance?
Or, maybe Justin’s just playing a joke on me?
To be continued…
More tomorrow.
Lovemore {fearless}
Jamie
{what do spiders mean to you?}
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Tags: joke, Justin, meaning, phantom spider, spiders, spirit animals
The Promise 365 