Tag Archives: laughing

JAMIE’S BLOG – YEAR 9 – DAY 239 :: trusting it all

27 Aug


Tonight I am reflecting on what it takes to trust and learn.

And that brings me to Laughter. I am laughing a little on the inside, at the realization that the joke has been on me. This year of Trust has given me many twists and turns and you know what the pattern keeps coming back to? Trusting myself. 

They say when the student is ready the teacher appears. And, now, my dearest teacher is in hospice. There is irony in this situation, being that this is the year that I am learning to trust and it appears it will also be the year when she is learning to leave. The two may intersect and while it wouldn’t surprise me, still I am shocked. 

She is the one who taught me to trust it all to matter. She taught me to trust the moments of confusion, and the moments of clarity, for each, have a valuable lesson to bring forward. She taught me that it all matters… and I mean ALL. 

When a spider would show up on my window she would ask me to trust it (not to kill it). When a flower bloomed she taught me to honor it. When an animal appeared she taught me to thank it. She was trained in Native American ways and in her teachings she taught me that everything mattered. Everything had a message. Everything had a purpose. 

So with that, I am left with this: the student has become the teacher. Through her lesson plan, I have ultimately been taught to trust myself. Silly me, not realizing that this was her plan all along. 

Now, as she prepares to leave I also know that she will never be gone. This is, in a way, the final test and possibly my graduation. And since I know that everything matters, I know that she will choose the perfect moment to leave and the perfect moment to remind me that lessons and love live on. 

They always do.
Trust me.

More tomorrow.


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Day 50: a love letter to childhood exuberance

19 Feb

Tonight continues my commitment to more love and less fear this year.  For February, I am writing a love letter each day.  Tonight is dedicated to …childhood exuberance.

Dear Childhood Exuberance: 

Today, I remembered all about you. I could actually feel you in my bones.

There’s something so special about you, Childhood Exuberance.  It’s a lightness where there is an eyes wide open surprise around every corner.

It’s the ability to scream at the thought of ice cream, cookies and cotton candy!

To laugh out loud with uncontrollable giggles!

To sing and dance and play when no one is looking.

To sing and dance and play when everyone is looking.

This is what you looked like to me, way, back then:

And, this is what reminded me of you today:
Two little girls screaming with delight. Sophia Grace and her cousin Rosie Grace.

Sure, they are two little girls on the red carpet, meeting their most favorite celebrities and performing for Ellen Degeneres.

I think the real magic is that they are exactly how we feel — Hungry! Excited for cotton candy! Delighted to sing at the top of their lungs!

So, thank you Childhood Exuberance, for reminding me about that little girl inside who is still hungry, exited for cotton candy and delighted to see every surprise waiting around the corner.

Tonight, when I take my bath, I’ll sing at the top of my lungs for you.


P.S. I still love pink and red dresses too!

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