Tag Archives: spiders

JAMIE’S BLOG – DAY 169 :: save the spiders

23 Jun
I saved a spider today. Granted it was from the death of my own hands (or bottom of my shoe), but stillllllllllll……..I’d like to think I saved a life.

He was crawling around the bathroom. He was headed for the underside of the bathmat where he was sure to hide until my unsuspecting naked body stepped into the shower.

Instead of panicking I grabbed a glass jar and relocated him outside far, far away. Just like that. Spider saved.

I have the black widows to thank. Ever since we found the hour glass marked spiders on the bottom of the house it has made every other creepy crawly that much less creepy to me. I still don’t want to pet them or hold them. But…..

I think rescuing is enough. It will do. And I’d like to think that I gave a spider one more day of bliss. Crawl on. Outside. Somewhere else please. 

More tomorrow.
Lovemore, 

Jamie
  {what bliss did you create today?}
#lovemoredomore

JAMIE’S BLOG – DAY 155 :: coooommmmplaints

9 Jun
I’m pretty sure I complained yesterday…and today. I can’t remember the exact words but I am truly failing at this 21-day no complaint challenge. It’s just so……well….hard. All complaints aside.

But I’m beginning to better understand where my complaints come from. It mostly boils down to fear (no surprise there!) and anxiety. As in spiders and bathing suits.

My first melt down was over some black widows. My second was over a bathing suit that didn’t fit. Both come with enough anxiety to keep me in the complaint department for the rest of the year.

So here I go again. Starting over.
This time with the promise to keep breathing.
More breathing, less complaining. 

More tomorrow.
Lovemore, 

Jamie
  {what makes you complain?}
#lovemoredomore

JAMIE’S BLOG – DAY 143 :: spider complaints?

28 May
I almost complained today. Almost. What really happened was I froze in my tracks. Because of a black widow.

I spotted it’s spindly, shiny little legs sticking out from under the house. And I froze. I have a terrible track record with my spider phobia radar. I can spot flecks of black over a hundred feet away if they have eight legs. But today it actually came in handy.

Because this is where we draw the line and are now the official owners of spider spray.

It all has me confused. I have tried so hard to welcome the animal kingdom large and small into my life. I have tried not to squirm or scream (or cry!). But now I think I’m at a point of acceptance. Of spider spray.

I’m not sure if this is an official complaint so I’m chalking it up to just being me. So I’m still wearing a bracelet on my right hand, which makes an official 3 days, 5 hours and 17 minutes of not complaining

More tomorrow.
Lovemore, 

Jamie
  {what’s new with you?}
#lovemoredomore

2014 BLOG – DAY 56 :: return of the creepy crawlies

25 Feb

The phantom spider is gone. 

I spotted it in the kitchen today at high noon. Just as Justin walked into the kitchen I looked up and pointed.

“See!!” I was ecstatic. “There it is. The spider!”

I felt like I had won a game of hide and seek. Actually, I felt sane. Like I hadn’t been imagining a huge, black spider that only crawled on the kitchen walls just for me.

“Ah, do you want to play with it?” Justin asked as he reached up to grab it.

“No!” I screamed.

“I thought you liked spiders now.” Justin smiled as he whisked the spider off the wall and it fell into Brady’s dog crate. Now we had to try to find a black spider in a black metal dog crate.

Justin tipped the crate from side to side looking for the fuzzy, black thing. Brady ran around in circles, expecting something very exciting to happen. We had, after all, invaded his space.

Justin finally spotted the spider, clinging to one of the metal bars of the crate and scooped it up in a napkin. He then walked outside and release the poor little spider (Did I say little? It was huge).

If you’re keeping score, here’s the standings:
Spider = 1
Jamie = 0
Brady = best. day. ever.
Justin = my hero.

As for peak performance?
None for me today.

More tomorrow.
Lovemore {fearless}
Jamie

{what’s haunting you?}

2014 BLOG – DAY 55 :: the creepy crawlies

24 Feb

What are you afraid of?

I’ve done so much over here to get over my fears (if you’ve been around here for a while you already know the long drawn out story… swimming in the ocean, gardening with spiders, surgery!).

I have a new fear to add to that list.
Phantom Spiders.

As in the large, black, creepy spider that only shows up in the kitchen when no one else is home or looking — but me. Justin thinks I’m making it up. He thinks it’s my imaginary friend. Possibly from spending too much time alone at home in my office staring at my computer screen.

But I know it’s real.

I saw it yesterday crawling on the ceiling. I considered getting out the vacuum to suck it up but then decided against it. Mostly because I made a pact with Justin (and karma) not to kill any more spiders.

Then, last night, just as I let the dogs out for their last run before bed I spotted it. In the corner of the kitchen.

As if it’s taunting me. Teasing me from afar. And, really, I prefer it that way. Far, far, away.

I have looked for the spider all day to no avail. Every time I open a cupboard I wince. Every time I reach for a dog treat (which we have to keep on top of the refrigerator so you know who doesn’t eat the entire box) I brace myself.

I’ve come a long way in this spider thing. But I am still amazed at how much fear they instill in me – instantaneously.

So I did some searching.
According to one source, spiders can represent many things, including:

  • Patience
  • Receptivity
  • Feminine energy
  • Creativity
  • Weaver of life’s fate
  • Shadow self, dark aspects of life or personality

It has me stopping and thinking. (Patience?)
Maybe this spider is only showing itself to me because it has a message? Maybe it wants me, and me alone, to figure out something creative, or feminine, or weave my fate for this promise of peak performance?

Or, maybe Justin’s just playing a joke on me?

To be continued…

More tomorrow.
Lovemore {fearless}
Jamie

{what do spiders mean to you?}

BLOG – GIFT DAY 299 :: an abundance of creepiness

26 Oct

In keeping with my promise to seek abundance this year, here’s my Abundance Photo of the Day a pile of leaves.

This is two-part post, really.

The first part is this… on my walk home today I noticed the piles of leaves lining the sidewalks all along downtown.

Abundance!
It’s like the trees all got together and decided to drop all their leaves overnight.

By the time I arrived home I noticed the layer of leaves lining our own driveway and front lawn. They were so deep you could swim through them.

I’m not sure why, but this inspired me.
To rake. 

As I raked in the October sun I could feel my abs getting a workout. I’ve been looking into local gyms recently, but this raking was such a good workout.

I thought to myself, maybe I should just spend more time in the yard?

It would be good for so many reasons…. I get exercise, the yard gets tender loving care, not to mention it costs nothing but a little time and sweat.

Then a little child ran giggling down the sidewalk. He was dressed as Spiderman and his little Honeybee sister came giggling after.  Not too long after that, what I can only assume were the miniature Honeybee and Spiderman’s parents walked by my raking with their stroller.

I smiled. They smiled back.

I continued to rake big leafy piles of crisp yellow leaves convinced I had discovered the world’s best workout.  My abs were already tighter, practically ready for bikini season.

A leaf scraped against my ankle and I shook it away. But I could still feel it rubbing up against my sneaker.  So I turned to look at my left leg and saw that IT WAS NOT A LEAF stuck inside my shoe.

It was a spider.
A big, black spider was burying between my anklet sock and my heel. 

I yelped. No, I screamed. Really loud. And jumped. And threw my shoe and ripped my sock off my foot and ran to the front porch. While I was jumping and screaming I grabbed my other sneaker and tore the remaining sock off too.

For a minuscule second I thought about leaving my socks and shoes outside, not sure if the spider was somehow stuck inside one of them, but then decided against that plan. My shoes would become a spider nest if left them outside the front door.

Instead I turned my shoes upside down in the front entryway and proceeded to strip naked in the middle of the living room.  I immediately tossed every article of clothing into the washing machine.

Then I took a bath.
A really long, hot bath.

As I sat in the bathtub, my skin still crawling from the sight of a spider creeping into my shoe, I remembered what I saw right before I felt the spider.

A little boy in costume giggling down the street.
In a Spiderman costume.

And then I laughed.
I mean really, this fear of mine is ridiculous. And I know it. I just can’t control it in the middle of an attack. The fear sneaks up on me just like the spiders do.

And it’s always THE WORST when I am sideswiped and have no warning. As much as I try, as much as I work on this fear of mine, it’s so hard to control when I don’t see it coming.

But today, in the middle of the bright afternoon sunshine, I should have known better.

As I soaked in the tub I made a decision.
I’ve got to join a gym.

More tomorrow.
Lovemore {fearless}
Jamie

{What makes you squirm?}

BLOG – GIFT DAY 292 :: an abundance of scary spiders

19 Oct

In keeping with my promise to seek abundance, here’s my Abundance Photo of the Day… a scary-big spider.

We live in Spider Town USA.  At least it seems that way.

There is nothing short of an abundance of spiders here in Southern Oregon.  Even the big cat spider that lives outside our bedroom window, is still weaving her web, repairing it daily.

Not too long ago I would have killed them all. Stomped them with my shoe.  Squished them with a napkin.  Brushed them away with a broom.  All dead.

But now that rarely happens. I must admit, I still do kill spiders. Like when I’m naked in the shower and see one creeping towards me.  I can’t help it, I’m vulnerable.

However most of the time I don’t.  I capture them in a glass jar that sits next to my desk.  I shuffle them out the door on a piece of paper.

The difference is slight really.
It’s just that now ….I try. 

I try to give those creepy crawly things the benefit of the doubt. I try to find another option (other than annihilating them from my base boards).  I try to think of a different outcome before I reactively grab the shoe off of my foot and raise it above my head.

Try. Try. Try.
And, really that can make all the difference.

If nothing else, it will save lives.
At least some creepy crawly ones.

More tomorrow.
Lovemore {fearless}
Jamie

{what are you afraid of?}

BLOG – GIFT DAY 218 :: charlotte’s web… can curiosity save the cat?

8 Aug

I’m leaving on a jet plane. 

But before I go, I’m sending this post out to the WEB.
Yesterday I wrote about vampires. Today, spiders. What has my life come to?Meet Charlotte:

Charlotte has a web on the outside of our bedroom window. She’s been working on it for weeks. Today she seems listless. Just hanging out, literally.

She is holding a small, black sac today. Her dinner? Her babies? I do not know what it is, but it has me curious.

And that’s a huge improvement.
Curiosity over fear. 

Just a year ago I might have sprayed water from the hose to wash her away. Or something worse.

Now I am just curious.

At first I was curious as to what this spider was — she’s huge!  My friend Julie pointed out that it’s probably a cat spider. Christene noted that Charlotte will hatch lots of babies soon and will then disappear.

Curious?
Sad, really.

Just like the children’s book, Charlotte’s Web.

Every morning I wake up and look out the window. Partly to see if Charlotte is still there, and curious, just a little bit hoping there might be words spun in Charlotte’s web.Some Pig? Terrific? Radiant? Humble? 

I would even take a little Good Morning.

I am leaving for a trip to Chicago (so excited!) and I will return next week.  As I pack my bags, I wonder, will Charlotte still be here when I return?

Can curiosity save the cat?

More tomorrow.

Lovemore {fearless}
JamieP.S. The CARD CRUSADE continues! And it is all made possible by Green Ink Gallery. Check out their beautiful fine art cards!

P.P.S.  Yesterday’s card went out to you, Jenn Kornicks! And today’s card, well it’s headed to Beantown… the South End to be specific. And that’s your hint!

{how can you be CURIOUS today?}

BLOG – GIFT DAY 159 :: 30 days of love: keep calm and carry on

8 Jun

It’s DAY 29 over here of the 30 Days of Love. We’ve already had two yummy recipes and a week-long Giveaway, some treats, a sneeze, some wise words to the Class of 2013, some news, a Pop Quiz, 3 things I love, a biopsy, a call to say what you need to say, a prayer, a choice, a reminder of home, a sunrise, a road trip, a little joy, looking for a rainbow, there’s something to love, put your emphasis on joy, on the road again, going home, take a deep breath, courage to follow through, make new friends, and now…
Keep calm and carry on.

I find myself back in the WEST. On the side of the world where I grew up. I recognize the familiar dry air, the blazing hot summer heat, and….

The spiders.

It’s like a spider-dome here. Justin reminded me, “Watch out for black widows.”

UGH.
And, I’ve done so much work to get over my fear of spiders.
I don’t run away screaming my head off. I don’t high-tail it for the highway. I don’t hit and scream and punch things…. anymore.

I used to. Sad, but true.
Now, I wince a little. Okay, a lot.

Spider webs everywhere. Which means the spiders are crawling all over this land. Justin constantly reminds me that spiders are good, they catch and kill the other bugs.

Speaking of catching and killing bugs … I have a built in spider fighter. A spider-catching super hero of sorts — in the most unlikely form.

A dog.

IMG_6311
Brady loves to catch bugs and eat them. At first I thought it was gross. Now, I see it as a dog with benefits.

Instead of tarnishing my good karma with the spider world, instead of stomping and smashing them into obliteration, I just say two words…

“Brady …bug!”

And he comes running. Strike that, he comes bounding with sheer excitement licking his chops. (Hey, I’m not the one killing them…)

I suppose this is the universe’s way to test my proclamation to be LOVEMORE+FEARLESS.After all, aren’t I the girl who swam with sharks and rafted the Grand Canyon — sleeping outside without a tent next to scorpions — to get over her fears?

Aren’t I the girl who spent a winter in a beach house on top of the ocean (granted I did evacuate for a few hurricanes… but still…)

It’s quite ironic, isn’t it?
Me, in the middle of Spider Town USA.Actually, I should probably be more afraid of the bears. I hear they are up in “them there” mountains.

IMG_6466

I suppose this is what I asked for, in a way. To truly be LOVEMORE+FEARLESS one has to face her fears head on, with a smile on her face, and calmness in her heart.

Whether it’s spiders, bears, sharks, surgery, speaking out or standing up. Whatever form your “SPIDER” takes, I know in my heart, there’s no reason to run for the hills.

Sometimes I just need a good reminder.

Keep calm and carry on.

More tomorrow.
Lovemore {fearless}
Jamie

{what fear do you want to get over?}

Day 323: thanks and giving to spiders (yes, that’s right, spiders!)

20 Nov

Eeeeeeeeeek! 
What scares you? 

Tonight while I was sitting upstairs typing away on my computer Justin screamed from downstairs.

“Jamie, come here!”

“What?” I asked somewhat annoyed because I didn’t’ want to move or be distracted.

“Come quick!!!”

I had a flash of terror knowing Justin never yells for me in a panic. “Oh, my God are you okay??” I jumped up screaming as I tore down the stairs to see what was a matter.

He stood in front of the bathroom pointing to the wall. “There’s a spider.”

“What?” I laughed and pouted at the same time. “But, you’re not afraid of spiders!”

“I know.” He said and smiled. “But that’s what you sound like.”

I was offended and defended myself. “I haven’t screamed about a spider in MONTHS.”  Months, I tell you.

And, I haven’t.

In my Lovemore+Fearless year I have embraced the arachnids of the world. Well, not really. I have actually just stopped screaming and running into other rooms. But that is HUGE progress. HUGE.

Today I even encountered a roach at my feet.

That’s right, a full fledged, living, breathing, crawling on all fours (or sixes? I don’t know how many legs they have…) right before my very eyes roach.

I didn’t scream or run.
Promise.

It’s amazing what can happen in a year.
I highly recommend it.

So do all the spiders whose lives have been spared. 

And that brings us to THANKSGIVING….
Because when you look up the word SPARED it says:

spared
past participle, past tense of spare (Verb)

Verb:
  1. Give (something of which one has enough) to (someone); afford to give to: “she asked if I could spare her a dollar or two”.
  2. Make free or available.

That’s right — to give instead of to take.

I never thought of my arachnophobia as “taking” something away, but now I see it that way.

  • I have taken time away from my life, and Justin’s life every time I screamed bloody murder in the face of a spider.
  • I have taken many spider lives away too.

But I like looking at it this way, from a GIVING point of view:

  • What else could I GIVE all that energy of screaming and crying and yelling out in the name of a spider?
  • How could I use that energy to fuel my life forward instead of freezing it in terror?

I have begun to see the light on this issue. All because I made a promise to face my fears.

So Happy Thanksgiving and thank you dear spiders. You have taught me a valuable lesson. I promise to continue to be more giving (and thankful) and not run away.

Lovemore+Fearless.
xo~Jamie

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