Tag Archives: surgery

JAMIE’S BLOG – YEAR 9 – DAY 186 :: trust yourself

5 Jul


It’s already a hot, steamy morning here. Happy July 5th. We are escaping the confines of a broken air conditioner to head toward the coast and see a few mansions in Newport. Before we go I was inspired to post my blog early…. like waaaaaaay early for me, in the morning.

I usually post at night, after the rhythms of the day have caught up with me and my mind has had time to process the message of the moment. Because I made a promise to myself. It includes posting a blog every single day. It’s nine years later.

I have done this for almost a decade now. Not every day is spectacular or includes fireworks (like last night). Not every message is profound or life-changing, although some have been (like the time I survived three surgeries in 8 months). Not every day has been adventurous (hello, swimming with sharks) or beautiful (thank you, grand canyon) or transitional (goodbye east coast, hello west coast, hello again east coast). But I have been here every single day now. 

I only bring this up because I intrinsically understand the power behind a promise. So when I read this article this morning, “The Science of Developing Mental Toughness” I nodded my head in agreement.  

“Mental toughness comes down to your habits. It’s about doing the things you know you’re supposed to do on a more consistent basis. It’s about your dedication to daily practice and your ability to stick to a schedule.”
– James Clear 

Mental toughness is also about trusting yourself to show up for yourself, by yourself, when no one else is looking or cares. It is a daily practice (whether you blog or not).

Of course, it feels good to have a little help from our friends and cheerleaders and supporters too. But, mental toughness, I have learned is sticking to the calling in your heart even when no one believes in you, or understands you, or follows you. In fact, it might be most profound when they do not.

So here’s the dream in your heart and the persistence in your head. You got this! 

Trust me!
More tomorrow.


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JAMIE’S BLOG – DAY 266 :: angels in waiting

28 Sep
Bliss of the day: my father’s surgery went well. He is well, all is well…and we are all exhausted.

Like with any surgery, we spent most of the day waiting. Waiting, waiting and then more waiting. So I thought this statue in the hospital’s rose garden was fitting for the day. As we were waiting with angels sitting in the wings.

Which reminds me of this…
Being on the other side of surgery is bliss.

More tomorrow.
{angels in waiting?}

JAMIE’S BLOG – DAY 332 :: tragedy to triumph

1 Dec

It’s December.

The year is wrapping up right before my eyes.  It’s hard to believe isn’t it? Just one more month of 2014 before us, a lifetime behind us. The dates on the calendar are being swept away and flying into the wind of yesterday.

In these next thirty days, I will be forming and contemplating my next promise. While at the same time I am reflecting back on what this year has brought with it. It has been one of tragedy and triumph.  Unexpected joy, unbelievable pain, unsurpassed love.

And that is the story of life.

As I tote around my new silicone set (and try not to fry them in the sauna) I am amazed at: 

  • how fast scars heal 
  • how small a DD cup actually feels! 
  • the power of intentional intention 
  • the wide, wide range of peak performance 

Peak performance has not been what I thought it would be. In true promise form, what I THOUGHT would happen this year is not really what the universe had in store.

Upon first entering my OB’s office this February, I thought I met my first potential friend in this town we moved across the country to call home. After she found the lump in my breast she sent me on the wild goose chase which landed me with fake boobs and a bucket full of gratitude for an early diagnosis.

Tonight, as I opened the door to the gym, I recognized the woman standing behind me.

“I know you!” I blurted out of surprise.  I was shocked that I actually ran into someone I recognized!  My doctor of all people! My OB that I haven’t seen in months. The first woman in this town that I thought could be called ‘friend.’

She seemed unfazed and gave me a look I read as: I don’t remember you but I’m going to be really nice anyway.

And she was nice. But as we walked down the hall to the locker room I could feel that she just wanted to escape the six foot stranger making small talk. As a doctor, I’m sure she runs into the many sets of boobs she sees in her office all over town. Part of me wanted to hug her and thank her for that early diagnosis. Part of me wanted to rip off my shirt and show her my new girls. Part of me was so embarrassed I wanted to make a beeline to the pool even though no bathing did I have on my body.

As we entered the locker room, she went right and I went left. As I sat down on the bench I had an overwhelming sensation that this too was a special sort of blessing. The kind that shows up to remind you that it’s really good news when you doctor doesn’t remember your name.

It was the triumphant sense that you have officially closed the chapter of this book.
And, that, to me, feels like the best way to begin wrapping up this year.
From tragedy to triumph. 

More tomorrow. 


 {what are your triumphs from this year?}

JAMIE’S BLOG – DAY 321 :: one minute and 25 seconds

19 Nov

Peak performance moment of the day: one minute and twenty five seconds!

That’s my new record for a timed plank. It’s a full fifteen seconds longer that last week. (And if you’ve been around here for a while you know that I started at a mere 30 second plank after the whole mastectomy surgery trilogy).

It feels good to make these muscles work again.

And all it makes me think is this…
The more you favor work the more it works in your favor.  

One minute twenty five seconds!!!

More tomorrow. 


 {what is your personal best?}

JAMIE’S BLOG – DAY 252 :: wearing the wrong bra

9 Sep

Tonight Jaynane reminded me of something…. I am just 6 weeks out of surgery. It really hasn’t been that long. Which leaves me amazed. At all of it.

But especially this one little fact is amazing to me: I have been wearing the wrong bra size my entire life! 

Last week I visited Victoria’s Secret (thank you Laura for the gift card!) and I was properly sized. What I found out was this … I am not a 34. Which means I have never been a 34.

I am a 32!
Who knew?

Well now I do. And for the cup size?  Drum roll please…

Yup! Never seen double before, in any letter. I have to admit they don’t seem all that big for a DD sizing, especially since I am so tall.

But believe me I am content. To have the surgeries behind me, the healing begun and some new bras!

Size doesn’t matter.
But being on the other side of all this does. 

More tomorrow. 


 {what are you grateful for?}

Jamie’s BLOG – DAY 212 :: out!

31 Jul

One amazing, wonderful, beautiful, thing happened today. My drains came out. My. Drains. Came. Out.

I’m a free woman. Ahhhhh. My drains came out.

More tomorrow.


{what beautiful thing happened today?}

Jamie’s BLOG – DAY 207 :: on the other side

26 Jul

It’s hard to believe I had surgery yesterday. It feels like a week ago already. I’m still hooked up to drains and popping pain pills every two hours, but in general, this has been the easiest one so far.

(I even went out to dinner tonight!)

Despite it all I feel so blessed and lucky. And loved.

I had a surprise visit from Thelma and Louise, a.k.a., Jaynane and Nancy. Phone calls and notes from friends. And of course Justin hasn’t left my side. But it’s the kind of attention I would happily give up, as I’m feeling down right done with this surgery journey.

But for right now, it’s good to feel loved and cared for and supported. More than anything I am so happy to be on the other side.

Thank you for being here with me. I am thankful and grateful and ready to get the show on the road.

After recovery of course.

More tomorrow.


{what are you thankful for?}

Jamie’s BLOG – DAY 167 :: timing is everything & making new friends

15 Jun

I have to laugh at timing. It’s everything. And it’s not till it’s over that it makes any sense at all to me.

I met a new friend yesterday as I volunteered in the park, and I have to shake my head and wonder about the timing.

My new friend is having surgery tomorrow — the same surgery I will have in July. The final surgery of this mastectomy journey.

She’s my age. She’s a few years younger actually, but who’s counting? And she’s a few months ahead of me in this process called mammogram meets lumpy breasts meets surgical magic.

She lives a few blocks from me. In the same town that I have been trying to find friends but have been lost in a sea of strangers.

She’s been here all along. I just didn’t know where to find her.

She’s been doing the same thing I have been doing (doctor appointments, surgery, diagnosis, follow-up, fills, excruciating expander pain, planning for more surgery, et. al.).

As we compared notes a word came out of her mouth that has been in my head.


We are delicate beings right now. Everything is delicate. The two mounds that are expanding at a rate no teenage hormone would ever encounter. The expanders hidden under the flesh that radiate with pain. The stretch marks that are surfacing. The deep well of feelings, thoughts, plans, procedures that collide with not enough time in the day for the work, laundry, dishes, voicemail, making the bed, feeding the dogs and remembering to brush your teeth.

We are delicately traveling through this medical adventure at light speed. It is, after all, a routine medical procedure. And as much as this mastectomy business is a universal experience, proliferating through the bosom of our collective culture, it is delicately weaving its way through our two lives, just blocks away from each other in this small western town.

Our delicate beings.
As if we were destined to meet.
At times like these I have a deeper understanding. And still, I have to chuckle at the timing of it all.

Good luck my new friend, with your surgery tomorrow. You have my heart, my hope, and my faith that all will be well.

I have no doubt, in time, a deep reservoir of strength will spring up from within you (and me).

In fact, I can say, it already has.

More tomorrow.

{one is silver and the other gold}
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