Tag Archives: tired

Day 250: sit. stay. good for you girl!

7 Sep

I made an intention this morning.
I vowed to stay in the room.
To just sit.  Stay.  Good girl.

As I placed my mat on the floor at Tapas Hot Yoga, my instructor, Claire, asked me how I felt — to which I answered, “Tired. I am honestly tired.”

It was not the early class. It wasn’t even Monday morning.
I have not run, walked vigorously, swam or even skipped to my lou my darlin’ — at least not this week. I have no cold, no illness, no excuse.

I have no good reason to be tired.
But, I am.  Or, was.

And, that’s precisely when Claire flashed me a knowing smile and spoke her magic words: “It’s okay if you’re tired, just stay in the room. If nothing else, just stay in the room, you’ll still get all the benefits from being here.”

Hearing her words, rewired my brain.
YES! I thought to myself — I am here, I showed up, that’s all I need to do. The rest is icing on the cake.

I suppose it’s much like writing here everyday.
I made an intention to do it everyday, and not to shop.
So that’s what I’m doing.

Some days I stare at my computer screen blankly while I dig trenches into my heart to pull out just exactly what it is I’m feeling.  On other days, I have an entire blog post written in my head before my fingers hit the keyboard. Still others, I find myself racing against the clock trying to beat that last stoke before midnight just to publish something. Anything. One word before 11:59 pm flashes across my screen (or my cell phone — who wears a watch these days?).

Today, I was tired.
But, it led to an epiphany (thank you Claire).
On some days I will be tired.  On some days I won’t be able to do my best.  On some days, the most I’ve got to give will just be walking through the door and placing my mat on the floor …and that’s it.

And, that is enough.
Actually, it’s better than enough — it’s beautiful.  It’s perfect.  Because it’s where I’m at, whether on my mat or in my head.

Maybe some day, one day, I will be the yogi girl I was meant to be; live up to my potentially noble Namaste bliss.  It might mean dedicating body, heart and soul to downward dogging it more often, more routinely, more deeply, more meaningfully.

Until then, I vow to just keep showing up.
No matter how infrequent or often.
And, when I do, I will not leave the room.

So …see you in class?

Good for you, girl!

Day146: just in time

26 May

It is the end of the day and I am tired.

I can feel my eyes are heavy and my contacts are all but dried out.

I do not want to get back in the car tomorrow.
I do not want to drive another 400 miles.
I am tired of yelling at Garmin and her roadway trickery.
I am tired of 18 wheelers running into my lane.

Tired, tired, tired, I am.
(And, I do not like green eggs and ham.)

But, I am grateful.
For today, after a long drive and one very slow and painful traffic jam, we arrived just in time.

  • Just in time to see a seven-year old get off the school bus and run to her mother with arms wide open.
  • Just in time to watch a five-year old open up his Spiderman birthday present and squeal with delight.
  • Just in time to sing happy birthday and witness candles blow out and cupcakes disappear.
  • Just in time to marvel at bikes without training wheels navigate long park pathways.
  • Just in time to have a few perfect moments with friends.

And, most precious to my heart, we arrived just in time to hear the words “Aunt Jamie” and “I will miss you” and “I remember you” come out of little hearts and minds.

It was enough to melt my heart.
Indeed, it was well worth the drive.

My only regret is that we leave tomorrow.

I am tired, but I am also filled with joy.
What a good stop for my road trip weary soul.

Tomorrow we will make the island and summer awaits.
But not without making some really important pit stops along the way.

Just in time.

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